'Another one!' I scream to myself, disappointed at my reflection in the mirror.
'Why me? Why am I cursed?!'
I had just woken up from a lovely dream, which brightened up my morning instantaneously. However, that soon changed when I looked into the mirror as I was just about to brush my teeth, to find a new, disgusting, atrocious pimple! I didn't know what to do, I've tried almost everything. From off of the counter products such as Clearasil, Nivea, Clean 'n' Clear and so much more, I've just lost count. I've even tried the home remedies that I have encountered during hours of thorough research, such as; lemon juice, honey and baking soda face masks.. Nothing works, they just aggravate my pimples more, make my face red and even sting. I just feel horrible about myself, all of my self-esteem has flown out the window, I hate my appearance and everything about my face. I honestly don't know what to do anymore.
I feel... I feel.. I don't even know how I feel, disgusting? dirty? I feel like I should just lock myself in a dark room and never show my face to the light of day. I just want to be alone.
The next day, my lovely father decided to comment on how beautiful my face looks, sarcastically, obviously. He made my insecurities hit rock bottom, I honestly felt like a little girl.. But I suppose boys can be insecure too right?
Due to my father's comments I was inclined to drive to the nearest shopping centre and purchase the Proactiv acne control system.
Finally, I have something new to try, I have hope once again that perhaps I can be freed from my insecurities and these dark thoughts inside my head - I cannot wait to use this acne control system tonight!
Three weeks later, in the morning, I was awoken by excruciating pain; my face felt ignited, like a reactant in a combustion reaction in chemistry class. Running to the bathroom mirror I am exposed to the grotesqueness that is my face.
My face is red and as dry as an abandoned desert, throbbing in pain and my pimples still linger, all over my face.
I cry in agony ‘WHY? WHY? WHY? Nothing is working; I just don’t know what to do!’
‘What’s wrong dear?’ said Mom with sincere anguish as she entered the bathroom.
‘Mom, I’ve tried absolutely everything I can to get rid of these pimples, and they just keep getting worse. Everyone I see has good skin, Dean has good skin, so do you and Dad – why am I cursed?’
‘Son, you’re not cursed at all; you’re a beautiful young man, and I am not just saying that because I am your mother. You have so many girls all around you, just because you have a little pimples, it is not the worst thing in the world; you’re beautiful. Don’t look at other people or your brother and father – you don’t need the stress. You’ll be okay, I love you.’
‘I love you too Mom, I’ll try my best,’ I said, smiling at my mother.
It was a lovely thought to know that Mom is always there for me no matter what is on my mind, it was comforting. I trotted out of the bathroom disregarding my insecurities and tossing the Proactiv acne solution creams in the trash.
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‘Now arriving at Melbourne Central,’ said the mono-toned Metro train robot over the speaker, awakening me from my inattentive state.
Thinking back, my Mom was right, as I observe my surroundings, I am aware that every individual has their imperfections, no one is perfect and that is life. As human beings we are all the same, we all live to make a living. Everyone battles their insecurities at one point in their life. I am glad to say I have battled mine, and overcome them; despite my blemish prone skin I have learned to be optimistic and have a positive approach of thinking.
I am beautiful, we all are.
© 2013 Justin Leonard Sacco.
