Chapter 29: Making Magic

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"We need to talk."

"Is this about my kissing you again? Or the rest of it?" The scowl at the corners of Keel's mouth suggested he'd prefer to avoid both topics.

"No, it's about the magic." I'd spent the whole day wondering how I was going to tackle this conversation and now that we'd arrived in the royal chambers, it turned out it would be head on, just inside the door of his room.

"Continue." 

Ever since the museum, Keel had been shifting been formal and informal, as if unsure how to act with me. I wondered if he was worried I might quit again, but I was beyond that. Some decisions you didn't unmake.

"Yesterday, when you were talking about the bond and how it tries to manipulate you, I think I figured something else out."

"What's that?" Keel's attention was fixed on me. 

"It's not just bond magic that tightens the bond, but all magic we do together."

"How?"

"I don't know, but think about it. The bond might have been what allowed me to heal you after you were stabbed, but I didn't use any bond magic to save your life. I used the same sorcery I used all those months ago in my cell when I fixed your face, and yet-"

"The bond became much more demanding after."

"Exactly."

A range of emotions played over Keel's face as that sank in and spun out to all of its inevitable conclusions. "So that means if I intend to keep my promise to you and resist this to the best of my ability, we need to stop these sessions and stop using the shield."

He'd made the connections seamlessly, turning the pieces until they fit and then accepting what they revealed, just as he once had. I found a rock in that.

"We can't," I stated.

"We can't?" Keel's expression morphed to one of surprise.

"Look, you wanted me to think about the future, so that's what I've been doing, or at least trying to do. If you're assassinated your bloodline dies out just as surely as if you don't produce an heir. And magic's the thing that's keeping us one step ahead of those who would kill you."

"Have you been talking to Arthos again?"

"No."

"You know, he had no right to-"

"He was just trying to help and I deserved that after going there. The truth hurts, but it still needs to be said."

I saw a question in Keel's eyes, but he did not ask it. "Still, it wasn't his place."

"It doesn't matter. Not to this conversation," I said, trying to steer him back on course. "What does matter is that Garstatt told me about this too. He explained how he'd tried to fight the bond between him and Etan and how it didn't work. It's not going to work for us either, Your Majesty."

"You don't know that for sure." 

I sensed he was only saying that for my benefit, and I prickled against his uncharacteristic cloying gentleness. 

"Don't I?" I asked. "Look inside yourself. What do you see? Would you have told me your secret yesterday if you didn't think it was true?"

"Okay, but just a few days ago you were in the museum telling me that you couldn't deal with this." Keel took off his crown and ran his hand through his hair before reseating it on his head. "So which is it?"

"I've had more time to think," I said. What I didn't say was: And you compromised with me and held my hand, two things I could barely imagine you doing three months ago. 

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