When He Fell

A Conversation

(AN - Hey hey hey! Wus 🅱️oppin 🅱️imbo? It's, like, 3:00 am, but I'm trying my best. I would like to point out, in case anyone is wondering, I am aware that Fushimi usually goes by Fusshi! I just thought that it seemed more like Abeno to use full names, as he is narrating this! Thanks to anyone who's actually read this far, lol. Also, does Abeno live in the Mononokean? I genuinely don't know were he lives)

Abeno was still shaken from his visit with Ashiya after he returned to the Mononokean that evening. While he had long acknowledged his feelings for Ashiya, he had always made sure to keep it somewhat abstract in his head. Obviously, Ashiya would never be interested in him. Abeno was rude and sullen, often throwing insults at whoever was around. Ashiya, however, was warmhearted and open. He was still a five-year-old, of course, but it had become endearing when he would nervously botch a minor job. His tactless words were honest and comforting. There was no reason for Ashiya to return his feelings, so Abeno had decided not to dwell on thoughts of what he couldn't have.
     Until now. Now, Abeno has let his guard down. He wanted to believe what Fushimi said about Ashiya returning his feelings. He wanted to read into every gesture Ashiya made around him. He wanted to hug Ashiya again, everyday, whenever he wanted. He wanted to clasp Ashiya's hand in his, feeling his soft finger pads on the back of his hand. He wanted Ashiya to want this.
     Even as Abeno imagined it, being in a real relationship with Ashiya, thoughts in the back of his mind kept whispering that it would never happen. And it wouldn't; Ashiya wouldn't ever feel that way about Abeno.
     Abeno realized that he couldn't let himself slip from now on. If Ashiya found out, it could put their friendship in jeopardy; though, Abeno  supposed that Ashiya wouldn't just leave him if he found out. After all, he was far too loyal and caring for that. No, he wouldn't leave, but it would create a gap between them. There would be an underlying awkwardness that wasn't present before, and Abeno wasn't sure he could stand that.
     Abeno looked up at the sound of a bell, glancing curiously at the Mononokean's scroll.
     On it, the lack of emojis showcasing the serious nature of the words, it said 'Haruitsuki, are you all right? You've looked unsettled since you came in...'
     "Hah? Of course I'm fine! Why wouldn't I be?" Abeno put on a show of confidence, but he knew the Mononokean would see right through him.
     'It's Ashiya.' It wasn't a question.
     "That's enough. First Fushimi and now you." In an uncharacteristic moment of vulnerability, Abeno continued, "Is it really that obvious?"
    'Very (/^¥^)/~*'
     "Ugh, I'm going to sleep. See you in the morning."
     And with that, Abeno went to bed, drifting off to worried thoughts about what he was going to do, and how everyone seemed to know his secret.