Accounts of Mental Health

Abuse - Fae's Description

It's a funny thing, realizing you're being abused. Sometimes it's like a wave crashing against you. Sometimes it's a slow recognition. Crying or laughing, it's hell. You deny it for so long, push it away. "I can't be abused, i'm not being hit or yelled at every minute of every day" That's when they get in your head. You think you aren't abused because it could be worse, but everything could be worse, no matter what it is. Emotional abuse is still abuse. Verbal abuse is still abuse. Physical abuse is still abuse. Sexual abuse is still abuse. It doesn't matter the severity, each causes trauma and a chemical change in your brain. Trauma leads to PTSD and other disorders, such as personality disorders like borderline personality disorder or dependent personality disorder, both of which I have. Sometimes the abuser gaslights you, makes it feel like it's your fault. That's what mine does. You think maybe if i didn't do that he wouldn't yell at me. This is the result of my wrongdoings. I'm fucking stupid, it's my fault and I should feel bad for what I did. Please, if you're in an abusive relationship with anyone, try to avoid this mentality. It will allow the abuser to continue what they're doing. It is not your fault. If you're questioning it, it's most likely abuse. You are valid.