the bolder thing to do 》 gawsten

"depending on the weather, i'm a changer"

the night passed by his window, and the morning clouds rolled over the horizon and turned the sky grey.

awsten awoke on the floor of his dorm room, still fully dressed from the night before. wiping the sleep from his eyes, he stands, and finds himself shaky. he peers first out the window and sees the stormy skies brewing, then turns to his mess strewn about the floor he had just risen from.

all of his paintbrushes and pencils were haphazardly spread across the carpet, with a rather large canvas sitting still amidst the chaos.

with tentative feet, he carefully edges towards it, confusion settling in his bones as he examines the piece he had started the night before.

the piece was uncharacteristically abstract - he mostly focused on realistic portraits and landscapes. sat on his canvas were a pair of blue eyes that were all too familiar, surrounded by a sea of shapes and colors from which he could devise no meaning. there were sparkling greys and soft blues, like those within the irises themselves, but there were also brilliant shades of gold and green. it was only half finished, but awsten could scarcely remember painting any of it at all.

his mind fluttered back to the night before, and he realized what had happened.

he was stressed, worried sick over geoff. but he'd hurt him - oh god, he'd hurt him. on the anniversary. where had his boy gone, then?

a sickness came over his whole body as he quickly undressed, throwing his sweater and jeans into the growing mess on the floor and replacing them with clean clothes from his drawer. he made sure to wrap his favorite scraf around his neck as he hurried out the door.

it was as if he sprouted wings then, flying down the hallway and the flight of stairs separating him from the outside world. then, he was nearly running down the sidewalks that would surely lead him to geoff.

by the time he reached his apartment, his cheeks were flushed and tears blurred his vision - thankfully, he hadn't forgotten his glasses today.

he needn't pound on the door or scream geoff's name; the door was unlocked and swung open when he laid his hand on it.

stepping cautiously inside, he found the comfort of the darkness of the rooms. geoff liked keeping it dark, his lights all off and curtains drawn shut. and there on the couch laid his prince, body slumped over in fitful repose. awsten thanked every star in the sky as he slowly approached the body and shook it awake.

"geoff! geoff," he pleaded, shaking his shoulders until he stirred, "are you alright?"

geoff could only let out a groan, eyes slowly peeling open to reveal the outline of his boy standing over him.

"yeah," he said after a moment, voice laced with dangerous levels of sleep.

"i am so sorry about last night. you know i didn't mean any of it,"

geoff sighed, "it's fine. i'm fine"

"you only ever say you're fine when you aren't, and after what i said you shouldn't be. please just-just let me in. let me help."

"i don't need any help"

"geoff,"

he sat up then, refusing to push the other away, instead bringing his hands into his own.

"how about i skip class today? we can drive into the city, go to that record store you like. get lunch or something. just you and me," awsten offered, words hanging low and heavy in the air.

"will that make you happy aws?" he asks, and god does awsten feel so fucking lucky. here is a broken boy laid out before him, still making sure he was happy first.

"it'd make me so fucking happy geoff. so, so happy."

and that was all it took to get geoff off the couch. awsten made him get in the shower, knowing he hadn't done that in a while, and quietly tidied up the room as he waited.

when he emerged from the bathroom, his hair was now hanging in his face and he was dressed in his usual dreary shades of blacks and whites.

the two left his apartment with hands interlocked, geoff leading awsten to his car before remembering what had happened last night.

"i, um, left my car out past town last night. want me to run and get it? i'll be right back,"

awsten only giggled mischievously, "hell no! i'll race you there instead" he stuck his tongue out playfully at the other boy, before turning and running ahead of the other. they both knew geoff couldn't keep up with awsten.

so, the two found themselves running through the rain, ignoring the wind as it beat against them. everything was suddenly soft and warm despite the biting cold.