the bolder thing to do 》 gawsten

"we've lost what we found"

so, they were going all the way to new york city. not how awsten had expected his day to go, but he couldn't complain.

especially not now - geoff was singing along to his tapes, and his voice was as calming as the sound of waves rolling onto the sand at the beach.

it wasn't often he sang for awsten. he always relished in the sound, wrapped the words around himself like a blanket. he would be enveloped in the warmth of his voice,  and the world would turn into one of magic before his eyes. he supposed that this was how geoff felt watching him paint - or at least, he liked to think that was the case.

he hoped he could make geoff feel something. something beyond the sadness, the escapism. he hoped when they held hands that the sparks went off on his skin too, the warmth filling him up and making everything sweet.

how he wished he could bottle this up - the smell of geoff's cologne, the sound of his sugar sweet voice, the love pitter-pattering in his heart and threatening to rip straight through his chest. the feeling of being so exposed, yet not daring to let any words slip past their lips.

they didn't need words.

geoff let awsten cling onto one of his hands, letting the softness of the moment breed within his core and spill out into the world. as the song ended, his smile remained plastered to his face.

"i love when you sing like that," awsten's voice dripped with drops of sunshine and honey.

"then sing with me" geoff offered, smile turning mischievous in an instant.

though he was shy about sharing it, in the heat of the moment he came to sing along with his boy. their voices weaved between each other in perfect harmony, awsten's naturally louder voice accenting geoff's softness perfectly. the rise and fall of their words...all of it aligned just so.

and for a moment, there was no more pressure. like the weights they had bore in their chests were suddenly fading from existence. the world was this car, their voices filling up the empty space, bearing light and warmth.

the first hour seemed to melt beneath this warmth, and it bled out into the second and even third hours. awsten would thumb through his tapes and pop in different ones at random, smiling at geoff's reactions to all his choices.

now they were nearly half way there, and awsten had stopped playing with the tapes. his eyes now focused on the land beyond the car. the way the rolling hills and endless forests turned to farmland, and how the farmland eventually grew into towns and cities. it was solemn - watching the natural world become so industrial and cold. and yet all at once, he could feel excitement pulsate through his veins as he watched buildings climb their way up to the clouds.

-

the afternoon sun had set low in the sky by the time they neared the city. awsten had fallen into a deep sleep, and geoff couldn't help but admire him as he drove. how he'd occasionally let out these little squeaks and moans as he slept, or how he'd squeeze geoff's hand tightly. geoff hoped he was dreaming well.

of course, traffic into the city was horrendous, so he took the time they had to sit still to gently pull awsten from his slumber.

"amethyst," he gently called, clutching his hand like it was his lifeline. "we're nearly in the city now. time to get up"

he was met with begrudgened groans and whines, but was eventually greeted by awsten's starry eyes peering back at him.

"...what?" his voice was soft, weighed down by sleep.

"we're nearly in the city. new york city" geoff clarified, eyes gentle as they looked the other over.

"oh"

and that was the last conversation the two would have before traffic cleared and they continued on their way.