Fangirl problems

Random funny parts from fanfictions

Well i seem to be addicted to finding these and sharing them... So you get a whole chapter from different fanfics!
Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with any of these except reading them..)

Make a Wish by Rorschach's Blot

"You hear the joke about how the Ministry's decided to give Black the lead in fighting the death eaters?" The Unspeakable took a gulp of his drink.

"Tell us," one of the others raised his hand to signal another round.

"Well, he got the late Umbitch, the Aurors, and Black all together and then he let a rabbit loose in the forbidden forest." The Unspeakable giggled, "said that whoever caught the rabbit first would get the title of the best and be given the job of tracking down all the death munchers. Umbitch took one look at the forest and concluded that rabbits don't exist. The Aurors went in with fifty men and came out with ten . . . having fought a great battle with the rabbit and barely escaped with their lives. And Mr. Black . . . he didn't even bother to show up . . . three days later, the rabbit died . . . of 'natural causes'"

The men roared with laughter until one managed to gain enough self control to speak, "don't you mean that the rabbit died . . . in an 'accident'" This of course set off another round of laughter, needless to say that the joke wasn't appreciated when it finally made its way to the Department of Magical Incompetents . . . err . . . that is to say the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, sorry about that typo earlier. (BTW Mr. Black is Harry)

(Same book as above quote)

"What is Mr. Black's favorite color?" Professor Hamilton looked around.

"This is almost as bad as bloody second year," Harry muttered to himself.

"Mr. Longbottom?"

"Black Sir," Neville replied.

"Correct, now can anyone tell me Mr. Black's favorite food?" Professor Hamilton asked the class.

"Still beating human hearts?" One student guessed.

"Happiness?" Another guessed.

"Dementors?"

"No." Professor Hamilton shook his head. "The correct answer is . . . human souls, you were all close those are all foods enjoyed by Mr. Black."

"What the hell," Harry whispered to himself. "I knew they were dumb but this?"

"Ok, next question. What is Mr. Black's hobby?"

"Killing death eaters?"

"Killing in general?"

"Satisfying massive groups of veela?"

"Satisfying massive groups of veela while killing things?"

"Correct," the DADA Professor called. "Mr. Black likes to satisfy large groups of veela while killing things." (The DADA Teacher of this year is teaching them about "Mr. Black")

(Same book... Again..)

Somewhere in northwestern Canada . . . six months later.

"Beer"

The bartender jumped as the strange man in the corner made himself known. "Sorry I didn't notice you before, I'll get your beer right away."

"No problem," Harry nodded. "I'm good at going unnoticed."

a few minutes later

"No one move," the thug waved his pistol around. "Give me everything in the cash register."