Don't Go In Alone

SATURDAY DECEMBER 14

Casey's house is always a little stuffy. Her mom doesn't like them to open the windows in the winter because it lets the heat out and it takes too long to rid the house of the chill afterwards. But when I come over to stay the night, she shuts her bedroom door, stuffs a blanket down against the crack at the bottom and slides her window open a few inches.

"Just for a little while," she tells me.

I sit down on the edge of her bed, fall backwards to stare at the glow in the dark stars on her ceiling that she said she put up as a kid and never took them down. They still glow after all this time.

"Did anything weird happen to you after we went into that house?" I ask without preamble.

"What house? The Victorian?"

"Yeah."

"Define weird."

I scoot over so she can drop down next to me. "Like just weird. I don't know. Feeling like someone's watching you all the time."

"You think someone's watching you?"

"I think someone is messing with me." My eyes follow the invisible patterns the stars are laid out in. "Carson, specifically."

Casey rolls onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow so she can look at me. "What? Why would he be messing with you?"

I cover my face with my hands. "I don't know. I feel like I'm totally losing it lately."

"You have seemed more on edge than usual."

"It's just, I keep seeing someone hanging around wherever I am all the time now. I saw someone that night we went into the house, out by the porch before I went in. Then after that, it's like there he is almost every night now and he just stands there. Always in the shadows, just standing there. It's so creepy."

"And you think it's Carson?"

I uncover my face so I can side-eye her. "Well, yeah. Who else would it be?"

"I thought you liked him."

My cheeks go hot and I resist the urge to cover my face again. "He's weird."

"So is Kris."

"That's different. This is different. Anyway, it wouldn't matter if I like him or not. He's standing outside my house at night and following me around everywhere. That's more than weird. That's like, something you definitely should be worried about. Right?"

"Right, but what makes you so sure that's it's Carson? Are you sure someone is even there? Maybe you're just seeing things."

"Zach saw him one night. And Carson is always, always there whenever I see this guy. So it's a logical assumption to make."

She makes a noncommittal noise, but humors me. "Okay, say it is Carson. Why would he be doing it? To freak you out? That doesn't make any sense. Why would you scare the girl you're in love with?"

"He's not in love with me."

"He's so in love with you."

I pick at the edge of my nails, try not to focus on the fluttering feeling just under my ribs. "I don't know why he'd be doing it. Because he's a weirdo creep? Because he's actually been a crazed psychopath this entire time but it was well hidden behind his perfect hair and pretty eyes? I don't know. I just know it has to be him. There's literally nothing else that makes sense."

"So you think he saw us go into the house that night and he's just been messing with you because he knows how scared you got?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Why not confront him on it then? Tell him to knock it off."

"I don't have any proof that it's actually him. It's just a feeling. And I don't want to look like an idiot if I am wrong."

"Don't want to look like an idiot because you like him?" She arches an eyebrow at me. I try to come up with a statement of denial, but nothing comes out. I settle for rolling over until I can press my forehead against her shoulder and fake cry. She laughs, tugs on a strand of my hair. "I knew it."

"Don't tell Kris. She'd have a fit and then her teasing would get even worse."

"I won't tell her." She pats my head before sitting up and sliding off the bed to go close the window. "So, what are you going to do then? Are you going to confront him?"

"I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Well, whatever you do, text me so I know you aren't getting murdered or something."

I bury my face in her mattress to stifle a laugh. It's not even funny. Because that could actually happen. Anything could happen at this point. If I don't laugh at it though, I feel like I might actually go crazy.