Don't Go In Alone

SATURDAY DECEMBER 21

I'm having a nervous breakdown. I think. I don't know. I looked online last night after taking a shower if you can be so scared that you suffer a mental break, but all I got was stuff about nervous breakdowns. It at least, would explain why I'm having trouble thinking straight and the queasiness in my stomach.

Also, one point was that when you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown, you get paranoid. This explains so much about what's been going on with me lately. I mean, it makes sense if you think about it. I know it happened like three months ago, but going into that house across the street must have been the stressor that started this whole thing. I got scared that night and it made me so stressed out that I started hallucinating seeing that shadow everywhere. Which also means that Carson very likely hasn't been doing anything weird and has instead been subjected to my paranoia.

God, I feel so stupid.

I read up on ways to destress and pull yourself out of these things and so far, today I'm feeling great. I took a bath this morning and then played outside with Zach for a while. Mom even had lunch with us before she had to go to work. All in all, I think everything is finally going to go back to being normal for me.

The sun is starting to set when Mom comes into the living room. "Hey, Mo, I'm going to take Zach to Tanner's for a sleepover."

I look away from the TV and have to do a double take. "You're awfully dressed up for dropping him off at a friend's."

She laughs, her fingers going to her hair before she remembers that she's done it up nicely. Instead, her fingers flutter against her collar bones. "Actually, I have plans with a gentleman after dropping Zach off. Dinner plans."

"Ooh, a date is it?"

"It is." She smiles.

I raise an eyebrow at her and ask, "Am I to expect you back late, or not back at all tonight?"

"I'll be back a little later tonight. It is the first date after all. I'm not a floozy."

I laugh and get off the couch. "Need help with getting Zach corralled into the car?"

"Yes, please. This is a new dress."

~~~

The doorbell rings about an hour later. I roll off the couch, land on the floor with an "oof" and stand to go answer it. I'm not expecting anyone. But I'm not surprised when I open the door and see Carson standing there. He looks tired.

"Hey, Molly."

"Carson."

"I brought wood." He gestures to the bundle at his feet. "Your mom text me this morning saying you guys were low, but I was at work so I only got it a few minutes ago."

"That's fine." I step aside and hold the door open for him. "You know where it goes."

He bends down, picks the bundle up and then comes inside. I shut the door behind him, follow him into the living room. He sets the wood in the little cubby by the fireplace and turns to me. "Alright, I'll let you get back to your show."

I glance at the TV, having forgotten that I was even watching something. "You can stay for a while if you want to," I tell him without thinking about it.

"I was under the impression that you were still angry with me."

"I'm not." I rub absently at the cut on my arm. "I did some thinking and I think I have everything in my head sorted out now."