Give Me a Life || Ryden

4

  The lighting was dim. Brendon was bare, and he knew it was wrong.

  He did move his body in ways that told Ryan it was okay, however. It was okay, it just wasn't right. Every time he felt Ryan's fingers ghost over his spine, or gently touch in the places that made Brendon see stars, he was distancing himself further from heaven. If he was ending up there in the first place.. he just made the outcome worse for himself.

  Every squeak of the bed spring, roll of Ryan's hips, or purr and moan. Brendon was silenced, almost the whole time. When he was shushed, he wouldn't even let a breathless whimper leave his lips. It was more beautiful for Ryan however to hear pleasurable noises come from Brendon rather than strings of curses. Making the boy writhe beneath him, was in all means not his intention. He tried his best to calm Brendon, and hear sinful cries and not sacred curses. All Ryan wanted to do was save the boy, liberate him. Ryan just couldn't put it into audible understanding words, and Brendon didn't get it. He thought he was being used by Ryan or that the word love maybe was meaningless based on how Ryan shows it off. But, he doesn't know, and since when did Brendon experience love? He didn't, and neither has Ryan.

  "Fuck." Left Brendon's mouth, that's when Ryan stopped.
  "Am I hurting you...?" Ryan asked, almost a whisper. Brendon didn't reply.
   "I'm hurting you, aren't I?" His voice frail now, choking maybe?
  "No. No you aren't." The smaller boy did reply.
  "He speaks." Ryan said, forgetting he was speaking out loud. That's when Brendon turned over to face Ryan.
  "What is your intention?" He asked.
  "I told you, it takes time to read me."
They sat in silence for a moment before Brendon turned back around, meaning Ryan could continue.

Back to Ryan's foggy thoughts, over how Brendon needed saving. He shouldn't need saving, not a pretty boy like him. Ryan's thoughts were cut off as a small sound left his mouth with the roll of the hips. Brendon's too.
The boy is just too pretty, eyes with a twinkle, angel face, honey smile. They all say 'listen' and dear god, if Ryan hadn't, he would remain a mess, day after day and night into night, at that bar table with his bobbing ice cubes like tiny boats in his water. His water because Ryan would get high countless times in a day, but he was not an alcoholic. But, when he found Brendon, he didn't want to ruin him. He's what seemed to be a curious holy-faced boy that couldn't afford corruption.

Ryan let out a laugh, but not out of pity. Because he made a heaven-sent boy, feel heaven-sent pleasure, and believe it or not Ryan just saw Brendon properly smile at him for the first time. That smile was goddamn contagious, and it felt good because it wasn't just Brendon who was deprived of happiness. Ryan was too.