Brittany Hills Chronicles: Act 2

Carter 58

I woke up in my bed with a massive hangover.... how and when the fuck did I get home? Then it was like everything came back at once; I remember the party, I remember getting fucked up, then I remembered...... shame began to sink as I remembered how I fucked up yet again and how I betrayed Xion's trust. I promised him I would be on my best behavior and I did the complete opposite, disgust with myself made me feel dirty and nasty.... I got up and walking into the bathroom and stepped into the shower letting the hot water burn my skin. I had to tell Xion before somebody else did.... Oh shyt!!! I wonder if whoever brought me home got my phone.... nah I can't tell him over the phone because that was a bitch move, I had to tell him face to face and then a vision of the hurt that would most likely end up on his face came into focus and I felt myself getting sick again. After my shower, I walked downstairs where everyone was chillin in the dining room while Ms. Gina stood in the kitchen cooking.... as soon as they saw me they all stopped talking and just stared at me and I could feel the judgment coming off of them.

"Carter I'm glad you're up it's time for our meeting." Ms. Shaw or as Jace called her 'Life Coach Laura' said putting her hand on my shoulder and leading me into the office in which she did our sessions. When I walked into the room Romeraux was sitting there going through his phone and I nodded to him wondering if he knew what happened last night. "So I heard you had a pretty rough night last night, so if you want my help there are programs that I can recommend that'll be able to help you." She said, her face a mask of concern.

"A program for what cheaters? A program for people who fuck up every good relationship they have.... nah I'm good." I said waving her off because the guilt was eating me up on the inside, this was a trillion times worse than the guilt I felt when I was fuckin with both Ronnie and Josiah.

"Carter, what do you think happened last night?" Romeraux asked looking at me confused.

"I cheated on Xion.... I fucked up yet again." I said feeling a wave of emotion coming from somewhere I couldn't pinpoint. "It's like... the second he wasn't looking I fucked up and he doesn't deserve that, he's like.... he's not with the drama and I continue to make his life more complicated than it needs to be." I said turning my head, damn I must really love Xion.

"Bro you didn't cheat on Xion... at least not in the traditional sense. Last night you were pretty fucked up and when you left out the room Tonieo went to check on you... that was my fault, I dropped the ball on that because it should've been me but he came back a few minutes later saying that you were out of it and when I got up that dude Mekhi said he was had experience in First-Aid and he'd check on you.... after a few minutes I began to worry so me and O'Shea came in there and he was.......... you were in no position to stop it from happening, I'm sure Xion will understand." Romeraux said and relief washed over me, then guilt again because I still should've known better.

"Carter, why do you feel that you fuck up every good relationship in your life?" Life Coach Laura asked.

"I guess it's something I learned from my dad.... he fucked up his relationship with his brother, with his wife, with me, with Romeraux...... I just don't want to fuck up my relationship with Xion and I really don't want to mess up my relationship with my daughter's mom." I said quietly. "I just......" I started and for the next two hours I bared my soul, revealing all my fears, all my anger, and all the uncertainty that has been plaguing me but I also listened to what Romeraux had to say because I promised him that we'd talk and he had a lot that he needed to get off of his chest as well.

"Look I wanna add another session because I feel like you have a lot going on that I really wanna help you with." Life Coach Laura said and I nodded before glancing at Romeraux. "Okay, I'll set something up with the staff." She said walking off.