Afraid of Being Alive (Shane Walsh Love Story)

Chapter 11: Falling Through Permission Slips

Chapter 11: Falling Through Permission Slips

I hadn’t talked to Shane since when he tried to kiss me in the tent, and it’s not like he made much of an effort to talk to me himself either. Despite having to sleep in the same tent, we had been avoiding one another for most of the past two days. It felt strange though; not talking to him was a pain. We’d become such good friends and one little screw-up caused our voices to drain. I wanted to talk to Shane, I really did, but every time I tried it would be awkward.

On the third day of the two of us “ignoring” each other I had had enough. I couldn’t do this for much longer and I realised how silly it really was. We were adults throwing a hissy fit over a kiss gone wrong. I sat by myself by the lake once more and began to laugh, despite the fact that there was no one around.
“Stupid, stupid girl.” I muttered to myself as I threw rocks into the lake, the rocks making a loud plop when they splashed into the water.
I forced myself up off the ground and took a deep breath before talking to myself again, “you’re an idiot Zel. The poor guy probably thinks that you hate him when you’re just the awkward fuck to blame.”
I took one last look at the lake and left the area, heading back over to the campsite where I knew he would be.
“Go and apologize,” I hissed, “now.”
I figured that I had done all the talking to myself that I needed to do, now ready to go and face Shane.

It was a slower walk this time around, the walk from the lake to the camp taking a good twenty-five minutes rather than the usual ten. As soon as I arrived at the campsite, I made my way over to the our tent, unzipping the entrance and poking my head inside.
“Shane.” I whispered, looking around, “you in here?”
No answer. He was not inside the tent.
I got back out of the tent and wandered over to the RV where Dale stood watch up on top of the RV. I called out to Dale to catch his attention and he looked down at me, his bucket hat soaking up the poisonous rays of the sun directly above.
“You see Shane around anywhere?” I asked him.
“Yeah, he went on a run down to the lake with Morales to get some more water for us all.” Said Dale.
“I was just at the lake, no one was down there.”
“He literally left camp like six minutes ago.”
“That would explain it,” I muttered, “thanks.”
Morales? I’d heard the name before and perhaps seen him around, but Morales wasn’t someone I hung around too often; not because he was a bad person, but purely because I didn’t have much reason too. Morales had his family here too: his wife, daughter and son. Him and his family where much like the Peletier family, just without all the abuse. The reason I compared the two families together was because, while they did interact with the rest of the group, they mainly stuck to their families, so unless you were on duty with them you didn’t communicate much with them.

I needed something to do, but many duties were already taken. I saw I wasn’t the only lazy ass around here as my eyes focused on Daryl who was simply cleaning the arrows to his crossbow.
“Need any help?” I asked him as I sat down on the dirty ground beside him.
“Nah, do you need help with anything?” he asked me.
“Nope. I got nothing to do and I’m bored shitless.” I complained, wiping the sweat that collected on my forehead.
“We could always go for a bit of a hunt around the forest,” suggested Daryl, shrugging his shoulders, “I doubt anybody in the camp would complain about extra food.”
“Cool, we can go look for some berries. The kids need something sweet every now and then.”
“Maybe we’ll find a deer if we’re lucky.” Grinned Daryl, getting up from the ground and setting up his arrows and crossbow, “let’s go then.”

I nodded and we made our way over to the RV yet again to alert Dale that we’d be off. He nodded, accepting our suggestion to go and do a spot of hunting. Elated at Dale’s approval, Daryl and I set off and into the woods. We weren’t bothering to take a car or even his motorbike as we wouldn’t be going far. Daryl and I had planned for the two of us to not walk more than thirty minutes from the camp, and even us going that far was unlikely.