MaNan : Aching Smiles|| COMPLETED

7. Perspectives!

~ Never give the control of your life and emotions to someone else, it rips you apart in ways you can't even decipher~

Latching the washroom door behind him, Manik stood leaning on the washbasin, as he splashed water on his face, again and again, letting the cold water drops mix with the warm saline ones. He tried looking at his reflection in the mirror, but like always, could not. Ten years and still his eyes could never face his reflection in the mirror, so grave had been the wound to his soul, that he had himself started to loath his existence. He had hated himself all these years for being so soft that those harsh words and insults affected him. He had hated himself for caring for everyone and anyone, for being good at heart. But in his hatred, he had also lost himself. A man full of emotions was now, afraid of showcasing them, even to people he knew loved him. Manik had changed in many ways, but restricting his true feelings from everybody was one character that had dominated everything else, such that now people thought of him as a rude and obnoxious buisnessman. Only if they could see, he wasn't rude, just afraid of being soft again. Sighing, he wiped his face with the towel, and came out to grab his clothes for the shower.

Downstairs, Shiwali stood frozen at the sentence she just heard. Her mind couldn't process the reaction, for knew it will destroy an emotionally fragile man in ways nobody would be able to decipher. Nandini was the sole reason Manik had developed self hatred, and she couldn't let him fall into a deeper hole than he was already in. Walking slow steps, she stood in front of the dining table, fidgeting when Nandini and Pakhi looked up at her.

"Good morning beta, how is Manik now?", Pakhi questioned and Shivi simply nodded, indicating he is okay.

"Aunty, his breakfast?", She looked at the table and found a tray of scrambled eggs and juice ready for him. Pakhi gestured her and she picked it up before stopping a moment and looking at Nandini.

"I need to talk to you for a minute if you don't mind, after he have his breakfast?", She asked and though it surprised Nandini, she agreed.

Shivi walked back to his room, and found him setting his hair, all ready in his work clothes but his left hand was supporting his back, and his face was contorted in pain.

" It's troubling you again?", She asked as she kept the breakfast aside, and stood near him, fixing his tie.

"I think the dose isn't working anymore", Manik bit his lip because he very well knew she was going to blast.

" Again? Manik that's already a high dose. Analgesics are not good for health anyway. Why don't you tell aunty about it?", She asked as she placed her left hand on his cheek.

Manik shook his head, clearly stating his disapproval.

"Then I will have to tell her everything I have kept in for the last ten years", he sighed and Shivi looked at him with so much helplessness that it broke his heart too. He dropped a kiss on her forehead, smiling, his eyes turning soft.

"It's okay Shivi. I will be fine", he walked towards the bed and Shivi slapped her forehead at his stubbornness.

Irritated, she sat on the bed crossing her legs and gestured him to eat. Manik made a face looking at the breakfast but when he found her glaring at her, he knew it was a lost cause. Silently he ate it all, and then gulped his medicines. Finally he saw Shiwali's face coming back to its normal, child like expression and it relieved him, for handling her anger was never his cup of tea.
You can handle an angry friend but an angry friend cum pissed doctor, never!

Both walked down, and Manik's gaze met Nandini, who was already staring at him. Composing his expressions, he walked to the table, and kissed his mother's forehead like every day, and turned towards her.

"Send me the bill as early as you can", he spoke in an indifferent tone, before walking away.

Nandini stood dejected, for she had dared to hope against hope that he would forget that comment of hers, but he didn't. It was the first time she realized, words spoken in anger really had the audacity to destroy relations!

Shiwali cleared her throat, and it grabbed Nandini's attention, who looked up at her and gestured her to follow to her own room. Once inside, Shiwali locked the room and faced Nandini sighing heavily.

"Nandini!", Shiwali spoke, in a soft voice. She had no intentions to fight with her or complicate things, but she could not let Manik suffer at her hands again.

" I know we are practically strangers to each other, but there is one thing that binds us both, and we both know who it is", Shiwali looked at her, and Nandini nodded, unaware of the context of the conversation.

"Nandini, I heard what you said to aunty. I want to request you, Nandini, please don't start this topic in front of Manik yet", she stated firmly and Nandini looked at her stunned. She had not anticipated Shiwali to be so straight forward. But also, she completely misinterpreted the topic and let her rage and the frustrations of the night take over.

" Why? Because you also love him? See madam, you might know him for a few years, but I have know him longer. Just because we are having a rough patch now, doesnot mean I would let him play with my emotions. I love him, and I will marry him. Period", Nandini literally snapped at Shiwali, her heart beating wildly in fear. In her heart, Nandini knew that Manik won't choose her now, if he is given a choice. But at the same time, she was very scared to loose him again, and she could go to any extent to have him.

Shiwali, on the other hand was completely stunned. She could see that the years lost have not changed Nandini. She was still the same self centric girl, who had now realized her love for him. She came out of her trance and clapped at Nandini's face, this time her own face was full of rage.

"It does not suit you Ms Nandini Murthy, talking about emotions", Shiwali spoke and Nandini turned to look at her, in shock. She didn't expect her to retort that way. But before Nandini could counter attack, Shiwali stopped her showing her palm.

"You know Nandini what is the difference between us? You are concerned about YOUR EMOTIONS, YOUR LOVE, YOUR HAPPINESS, YOUR LIFE. And I am concerned about him. Yes, I love him. I love him since years, but I never confessed it to him, because all I wanted was him to be comfortable around me, whatever way he is happy. I don't intend to put forward my marriage proposal to him, the way you are expecting. I was requesting you to not talk about it because I know he is not in the right frame of mind yet and I didn't want to be so direct but you have left me no choice. Manik is scared of your presence Nandini. You are nothing more than an acquaintance for him, as of now. I would really suggest you to work upon your friendship first, earn his trust, his smile, and after that think about 'your emotions', alright?", Shiwali literally banged the door on her face as she left, angry and hurt. She could not believe Manik had destroyed himself after a friend who didn't even know what she had done.

Nandini stood completely rooted to her spot, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. Wasn't Shiwali right? She had been so pre-occupied with her own emotions, that she didn't even care to know why was Manik behaving like that. This wasn't the Manik she knew. And also, somewhere a selfish part of her heart knew that she won't be happy with this arrogant person either, she wanted that soft spoken, caring and loving Manik back.

On the other hand, Shiwali broke down as soon as she reached her home. How could that Nandini be so stupid? Why can't she how he was dying every day, all because of her? But then, her doctor self also knew that she only was the cure to his pain. Manik was suffering because he had given the prime importance as well as control of his life to a wrong person. But a tiny hope in her heart told her that if she could turn the wrong person to right maybe Manik would come back to the life he deserved too.