The Holy Text of Smithers (simpsons unrelated)

Book I - Genesis

In the beginning, there was nothing, and nothing. Nothing pluralized, also known as nothing squared. Nothing also suffices as nothing. Said nothing was nothing, until it was something, made of nothing. Now, you may ask, how can nothing become something? What caused nothing to no longer be nothing? Now is a time to teach the first word of Smithers. Stop asking questions.

The first nothing became the Earth. From the Earth, humans came to be, because of the Earth's primal existence. Before it became what we know today, Earth was but a giant head, floating in space with its other space heads. One day, Sun said to Earth, "How are there days if I'm not a celestial body? Why does the very idea of a day exist if there are no people to experience it? What cruel god created us with no way to move, or even make a difference in this world in which nothing could possibly make a lick of sense?". Sun posed a good question. The "cruel god" he asked of is one by the name of Malcom. Before the nothing of the Smithers era, there was nothing.

Nothing can not create something. Something cannot become nothing. Except for Malcom. Malcom was bred from the cosmic bonding of two nothings, with nothing becoming something, yet nothing. Malcom is nothing. Malcom is something. Malcom is intangible, yet everywhere at the same time. Every day we live in his creation, with him creating nothing, as he is nothing, and nothing cannot create anything, except for nothing.

We live in nothing. We live for nothing. We are nothing. Relatively nothing.

Smithers is something, born from something, created by Malcom. When Malcom created Smithers' world, he created a whole reality beneath his own, and created Smithers. Smithers is the only something. Smithers in tangible, and so are we. However, we are nothing compared to him. Smithers is intangible from our perspective. This is why we cannot experience him. His hatred.

Smithers so hated humans, the ones he created. He cursed us humans with ourselves, knowing we'd eventually end our own pain, by ourselves. Smithers deserves no praise. But, we give it to him anyways, even if you don't know him. He created us to constantly praise him, without our own volition. We don't know our praise, because we would be nothing without it. However, we are already nothing. To stop our praise is to become negative nothingness, without our even concept of nothingness.

Sun and Earth suffered an existential crisis. They collapsed into themselves, both becoming the home for Malcom and Smithers. Humans are beneath them. They don't exist. We don't exist. We are nothing.