Forfeit (Original Edit)

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Despite the blue sky and dazzling sunshine, the temperature hadn't risen much above zero, but after two days cooped up in the house, I sucked the crisp, cold air into my lungs. It couldn't have been a better day for getting Xander back.

Do I tell him I love him or apologise first? Would it matter? I'd walk up the Low Wood Farm drive and Xander would come out of the house, smiling as he waited for me. There'd be hugs and kisses - clearly he'd appreciate the risk I'd taken, trudging for miles in the snow just to say I love you.

'I love you.' I tried it out loud. Dylan raised his ears and wagged his tail. 'Yes, poppet, I love you too.'

In the midst of kissing, I'd say sorry and I love you, about a million times. Then we'd get Robbie to bring us back in his Discovery. Robbie. Bugger. 'I'm not forgiving you', he'd said. Robbie hated me. What if Xander hated me? What if after three days he'd realised he was better off without me? I gritted my teeth and upped my pace to a power-walk.

Okay, this would be fine. Oh please, God, let it be fine.

My heart rate increased with every stride I took down the driveway of Low Wood Farm. Had I ever felt this nervous before? When I ran off with Tonio? No. My dad had given me an emergency credit card and made a point of telling me I could always come home. But there was no coming back from this. Xander had to love me.

I texted Clara to say I'd made it alive then smiled as the front door opened, just as I'd imagined. Only I hadn't imagined Robbie standing there looking as murderous as the day I met him. About ten metres from him I stopped.

'Hi,' I said.

He slowly shook his head, the murderous scowl never leaving his face, then turned back into the house. Fighting nature's instinct to flee, I followed him. Vanessa told Lissie to take Matilda into the other room.

'It's not bloody fair,' Lissie whined. 'I never get to hear what's going on, all I've done is take...'

'Now,' Robbie snapped.

She scarpered with Matilda who waved, giving me a toothy grin. At least someone was happy to see me. Vanessa busied herself with filling the kettle, unwilling to look at me so I straightened my shoulders and faced Robbie.

'Can I talk to him?'

'No.' His jaw muscle twitched just like Xander's did when he was mad. 'He's not here. You're about seven hours too late.'

I sat down. 'What?'

'When he realised you weren't going to turn up, he buggered off. He didn't even say goodbye. I could fucking kill you.' Thankfully, before he gave into temptation, Robbie stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

'But he can't just leave,' I whispered. 'He can't. Where's he gone?'

'We don't know,' Vanessa snapped. 'We took the girls sledging this morning and when we got back, he'd gone. He'd left that on the table.' She pointed to a screwed up piece of paper resting against the teapot.

With shaky hands, I flattened the crumpled note and his scruffy, boy scrawl gave me a rush of love stronger than any I'd had on that bloody E.

Sorry for not saying goodbye but I have to get out of here. If I stay, I'll go back. x
ps. Make sure she's okay.

I fell into a kitchen chair as tears fell onto the paper, smudging the ink. Make sure she's okay. He still cared about me but he'd gone.

'Oh my God, what am I going to do?' I stared at Vanessa. 'I need him back.'

'Daisy, you've really hurt him.' Vanessa sat down at the table but didn't hide her disgust. 'What did you do?'

'Don't you know? I thought Xander told you everything.'