19X
“Whats wrong Alana?” Deek asked cradling me in his arms. I shook my head viscously as pain shot through my body once more. I felt my uterus was being ripped out of my body. It was the worst thing I’d ever felt in my whole life.
Deek rubbed my back soothingly, his soft touch instantly calmed Bella, who was thrashing around wildly within me. I was panicking because it was too early for her to be arriving. We still had so much to do and see, we still had to get married. I still had to get some sleep.
“I need yall to leave, now!” Raymond shouted at the intruders as Deek carried me to the car, from the other entrance. “It hurts so bad.” I whined holding on to my husband. I was too afraid to let go. This situation stirred foreign feelings in my soul. I felt like my world was crumbling beneath me. I felt like terrible things were about to happened and I surly didn’t want to bring a innocent baby into the mix of my crazy life.
“I messed up.” I muttered to myself. Deek looked over at with a pained expression on his face as Raymond started the car. “I messed up so bad.” I spoke softly. A hand covered mine. “What are you talking about?” I heard him ask but I was too consumed with my thoughts to reply. I couldn’t help but think that this was my punishment for all the things I’ve done in my life. “I messed up and now God is punishing me.” I yelled breaking down in his arms. The car came to a screeching halt as we had approached the hospital. I was still freaking out as Dee carried me into the hospital. All eyes were glued to us as we entered the emergency lobby. I wanted to scream and yell at them but I couldn’t they were just harmless stares. “Right this way sir, we’ll get your wife help as soon as possible.” The nurse spoke in a hurried tone. Dee followed the woman down the hall to a room where he then placed me on a bed. “Baby I’m so sorry.” I whispered kissing his nose as he stood over me.
He looked at me with so much love and pride, it brought tears to my eyes. “Don’t be sorry, I’ll love you no matter what happens.” He replied kissing my forehead, then lips ever so softly. Slowly things started to fade the black. My hand shot out for Dee when the sounds of people rushed my ear drums. I opened my mouth to tell my husband I loved him too, but my lips were sealed shut.
“We need you to back up sir.” I heard the doctors yell at Deek. He’d held my hand every step of the way and I wouldn’t let go of him, they, of course, hadn’t realized that. “Please don’t make him leave, I need him.” I cried out gripping his hand tighter. The doctor looked down at me and sighed. I watched weakly as he nodded to his staff whom then disappeared.
“Is my baby gonna be okay?” I asked weakly. Deek rubbed my hand soothingly as the doctor gave me a look of pity. Tears flushed my eyelids. I looked up to the ceiling silently begging God to watch over me. At this point, I dint think I could mentally handle something happening to Bella. Everyone was so excited for her arrival, as was I—but no one was happier than Deek. This was gonna be his first born child—his first little ball of sunshine. And I didn’t want to ruin that for him.
I understood the anxieties and anticipations of parenthood, first words, first steps, first days of school, first everything. It wasn’t all happy times and sun shines but it was definitely worth it to see a bright smile on your baby’s face at the end of every day. “Everything is going to be fine sweetheart; Bella is going to be fine.” Deek encouraged. His face mirrored worry and distress. I was touched that he cared more to comfort me, when he needed comforting himself. My hand stayed tucked safely within his as we waited for the doctors to do something.
The abdominal pain was occurring more and more frequently as the hours passed and I was sure that if someone didn’t let Bella out of my body, she’d kick a hole right through my stomach. “Okay, we’re gonna prepare to push now” The doctor announced waltzing through the door as if we were preparing for a test or something. I glared daggers at him as he propped my legs open.
