From The Ashes.

Chapter 39

I skipped out on breakfast. I couldn't bring myself to sit through that again, it was like my own personal torture. I hadn't realised how much I'd grown to care about the people around me until the threat of leaving them loomed over me. This choice was tearing me in half and it got harder and harder to choose the longer I stayed here. But, that wasn't anyone else's problem, I refused to become anyones burden. I had to take control, keep things close to my chest, it wasn't their jobs to worry about me. This was my own personal journey and my own choice. But... I couldn't lie that the entire process was making me incredibly lonely. Is this what it meant to grow up? Is this what my father had insisted so hard that I needed to do? Learn that no matter what, you were always going to be alone when it came to important decisions? Was that really a lesson I needed to learn?

The warm breeze swept through the open window, the flowers carpeting the floor rippling like a wave. It was still fascinating to me how the air blowing through the massive window turned warm the moment it crossed the barrier, the Attic Garden was like a mini world inside another world. I leaned against the side of the window, absently scratching Eryx on the top of his head as he buried his beak in my hair. Curious, I stuck my hand out of the window and smiled as the frigid winter air instantly attacked my fingers. If I actually thought about it, it was surprising how quickly I had managed to adapt to this reality, to the small miracles that this world afforded. Although, something inside me was still questioning if this was reality. I wasn't a stranger to head injuries, Ceres made sure of that. What if he had knocked me out and I'd made this entire world up just so I didn't have to wake up?

I'd been here for a little over a week. What kind of person was I that I was torn between a world I'd known for that amount of time and my best friend that I'd known for eight months? Was I really that weak minded and flimsy? What did I truly offer to either group of people?

"More than you think." I jumped, Eryx swinging on my shoulder as I spun to face the source of the voice. Selene stood in the middle of the flower field, a serene smile on her face as she held out her hand and Eryx flew over to her with a little squark. I blinked. The last time I had spoken to her I'd been fighting for my life and now, here she stood, like talking to a strange, slightly transparent, powerful entity should be perfectly normal to me. After several moments of silence as I tried to work out what to say I eventually just settled on;

"Can you stop answering questions I don't say out loud? It's kind of disconcerting." Selene smiled as she made her way over to me, looking out over Fortitudine as though surveying her people. I couldn't help noticing that even as the breeze swept through my hair and ruffled Eryx's feathers, her snow white hair stayed still as it cascaded down her shoulders.

"Sorry, I'm no longer used to having conversations with people and your thoughts are surprisingly easy to hear." Another silence fell over us. I didn't know what to say or if I should say anything at all. The last time we'd spoken she forced me to expose my deepest regret, made me realise I couldn't fight by myself. What did she think of what was happening now? Why was she here? What did she want?

"Good question." I glared at her but she just smiled back. "To be perfectly honest, Teranika, I have learned a lot since the last time we spoke. I just couldn't see what had possessed Retria to bring you here. Surely, there had to be a werewolf that could connect with that boy the way you did. Surely, there had to be someone more worldly, more experienced, who could change the tide of what's to come." She sniggered. "I shouldn't have questioned it." She Looked at me sidelong and a heavy block of ice began to grow in my chest. Something in me told me that what she was about to tell me was important but I wasn't sure I wanted to hear it.

"I didn't realise, not until you started talking about going back, how your presence had changed the people around you. I've been around for a very very long time, Tera, and I've never met anyone who wasn't important in some way, although I have severely questioned the reasons for some peoples existence. When you first came here, you were one of those people, someone I couldn't see the point of but now I feel I must apologise." She swallowed, her eyes widening as she seemed to realise she may have said too much. Eryx squarked and hopped from her hand back onto my shoulder, whistling in apparent satisfaction.