moon-bound ♤ wolfstar

chapter//twelve

art by san-draws on tumblr

//

It wasn't easy waking up this time around. Every single cell in his body ached with last night's transformation. He didn't even have to move to feel the places his skin was sticky with the wounds from last night. He also didn't have to move to know he had survived the night, but that was seeming like a bad thing with every passing second because he'd never been in this much pain after a full moon. Or maybe he had, he didn't know, the pain was making his head fuzzy and his thoughts muddled.

But he was thankful when he felt soft fur next to his body, pressing up against his legs. He could feel the rise and fall of their ribcage and he immediately knew who it was. Remus finally decided to open his eyes to look down at the black mass of fur at his feet. Padfoot was watching him intently, and when he opened his eyes the dog struggled to his feet and licked Remus's face. Remus moved his hips to the side so he was properly lying on his back and patted his chest. Sirius laid back down and rested his head on Remus's chest.

He could feel a few pieces of dog food digging into his back where he was laying on them, and the ground was damp. With the green liquid in the other bowl or blood or sweat or vomit, he didn't know. Remus lifted his head and gently pet the top of Padfoot's head, doing his best to keep his eyes open and stay conscious. He probably would've slipped back into unconsciousness had he not felt blood matting Padfoot's fur at the base of his neck. "Siri... what happened?"

Sirius changed back but made no effort to move. He was just as naked as Remus was, and bruised to no end. He also had cuts littering his body, ones that looked like they were from a werewolf. "Before you ask, no bites. Just claws, it's okay." Remus heaved a very painful sigh of relief, he'd hurt the others before but he'd thankfully never bitten them. "Right after you changed they shoved me into your cage. You attacked me before I could change into Padfoot, but I finally did. Can't get rid of me that easily."

"Then why am I in so much pain?"

"Even with Padfoot around Moony wasn't too happy. There wasn't enough room to play like before so he kept clawing at himself and when I tried to stop him I was the one getting clawed, they tried to get me out at one point and... Moony you bit someone." Remus wasn't worried about that, he was far too interested in what he had said earlier.

"What do you mean, 'like before'? Sirius, you were never with me on full moons," Remus said. "Right?"

"Well, about that... I tried to come most nights. Hell, I was there most nights. I just didn't want you to know and I made James and Peter swear not to tell you, and... well, Moony loved to play with another canine, after the first night I was there James and Peter told me they're never seen Moony so happy and playful."

"Even when you never spoke to me?" Sirius nodded and shifted his shoulders a bit, draping an arm across Remus's torso. "They knew? They knew and they didn't tell me? You didn't tell... Merlin, Sirius, why?"

"I thought you'd be mad," Sirius replied.

"Mad? Sirius I- I spent the rest of our time at Hogwarts and all that time we lived together thinking you hated me and wanted me dead. I fell out of love with you because it was doing me more harm than good, I pined after you until we graduated and if you had just told me or said something that indicated you didn't hate me and you still loved me I would have forgiven you. Even after all that, because I loved you, Sirius. I loved you more than I can ever put into words," Remus explained. He tried not to sound too distraught but it didn't work very well.

"Then I guess there's no place for apologies now then, huh? It's too late, isn't it?" Remus sighed and ran his fingertips along Sirius's arm, shrugging miserably.