Meet Me In The Hallway

Comedown

The sales lady, Stacee, was wearing the brightest shade of coral lipstick I'd ever seen. It wasn't very flattering on her at all. I would have normally struck such an uncharitable thought from my head, but she was also silently judging my neon green running socks and this was already a disorienting situation I was in.

I was in a bridal shop with my mum, and Kara, and somehow Milo's mum has been brought on with FaceTime and my cousin Tricia was there too. I don't dislike Tricia, but I'm not sure why she was watching me be paraded out in a variety of white dresses of varying volume. My mum was vibrating with excitement. She declared the first five dresses I already stepped out in 'The One'. I would have normally been a little snarky and asked how they could all be 'the one', but I didn't want to dim the light in her eyes. It had taken her awhile to get it back, the happy glint in her eye after the chemo stole it, then I'd see it in glimpses, but that morning I was seeing it all over her. I wanted to do nothing to dim that.

I still wore my socks because my feet were freezing. I wasn't sure why the air con was on full blast. Did lace and taffeta go bad in warm air, like dairy products? Did brides look better when their nipples are hard enough to cut diamonds? The socks were staying on despite Stacee's killer stare at them. I'd taken them off when she offered me shoes to go with the dresses we'd seen, of course, begrudgingly.

I loved the first one. It was an a-line dress with slanted sleeves that clung onto the point of my shoulder blades and cinched at the waist. The beading on the bodice and sleeves was so intricate and beautiful that I wanted to touch it but was afraid to, so I photographed it instead. It was also cut pretty low, with mesh panelling between my breasts and the look on Maria Luisa's face, even on the screen of my mom's 6+ iPhone let me know that she did not approve. The beading also was heavy and not ideal for Singapore. Maybe it would have worked somewhere with a cooler climate.

Maria Luisa also disapproved of my second favorite. It was high-necked, with a slim fit, and long-sleeved. The dress also exposed my entire back. No bueno. That's what I imagined her face said.

My mother cried at dress three. It was raised lace and very lovely, but so heavy that I couldn't wait to take it off. And while I'm sure Milo would find that exciting, I knew I would have to wear the dress all day long. So it was out.

The fourth was a flapper-esque number and I could envision my hair to go with it immediately. But the styling was the part I found the most exciting. Not a good sign.

The fifth was a peekaboo shoulder piece that no one was too excited about. Except mum, I thought maybe the entire process was thrilling because she wasn't sure she would ever get to see it.

The sixth was a boho inspired piece with shawl-like sleeves that, had it been black, Stevie Nicks may have worn on the Rumours tours. I wanted to take it off right away. Not because I didn't like it. I loved it with all of me. But it was the right dress for a different groom.

My appointment time was coming to an end and my family was calling me out to see the final dress we would have for today. I wished for the champagne I knew we would be having at lunch to fortify me for walking out. I figured one good glass on the stomach I had left fallow to avoid bulges under satin would do the trick.  I was still such a lightweight. I picked up my phone and did the math, and sent my daily morning message. When the bubbles popped up, I called out that the shoes were too tight. I wanted to get rid of Stacee and delay until my daily opener came through.

'Good Morning!'

"Yeah, 6:30 is the best time on the clock hands down."

'Ok, that was bad, even for you!'

'Did you laugh?'

'Yeah, at you!'

'Well, mission accomplished.'