By Your Side » Harry Styles [ON HOLD]

Heartbreak

All it took were those four little words for the guilt to creep back into my system, for all the dread to settle into my head and all the adrenaline rush through my veins. Only with a Godzilla on my back, instead of a little monster. Godzilla wasn't helping, at all.

She's in a coma. The words rang in my mind. Over and over again.

Doctor Cameron said that they would be taking a couple tests to try to fid out what was wrong. And let me tell you, that was scary as hell. Who knows what they'll result in?

Bea might not be awake for any of this (which was a bittersweet thing), but I sure wasn't sleeping. I couldn't, with my sick girlfriend in the other room, striving for life and movement.

The worst thing out of all of this was that I still haven't seen her. They didn't let me even have a glimpse of her. Knowing that all these dangerous tests were happening was scary in itself, but not being able to be there with her was a whole other thing in itself.

So here I was, sitting in the waiting room, completely alone. Liam left a while ago, saying he had a very important event come up, and to call him if I needed anything. He had done a lot for me, I didn't want to bother him anymore. Besides, I needed my time alone, to think. To try and grasp the concept of reality.

This was most likely the hardest thing I have ever had to bear in my entire life. Knowing that Bea is unhealthy, and there is nothing I can do about it, is killing me. Killing me, as my insides get eaten away, my heart hammering against my chest the whole time. My nails have all been bitten away.

I don't know how much longer they expect me to wait out here while they do their tests. It's already been past 2 hours. Or more than that? I don't know anymore.

Thankfully, no fans or paparazzi has found me yet, I defiantly wouldn't be able to handle my emotions with cameras flashing in my face, microphones being shoved towards me, continuous questions being forced to answer and rumors being made up on the spot.

"Mr. Styles." A different voice said, a man who looked around the age of 30 appeared in front if me. I looked up at the man, hoping for anything but bad news, I couldn't handle anymore bad news.

"I'm Doctor Chase, also working on Beatrice's case, I'm just here to inform you that we are done with all the tests, the results will be done in a couple of hours." He said, and I noticed an Australian accent. "You are free to see your girlfriend now."

My spirits were instantly lifted and I felt anxiety sink into my system. I was excited to see her, but at the same time, I was scared of throwing all possibilities of this being a nightmare out the window.

He told me the room number and I found myself sprinting to the door. It was like if I had to wait even a second longer, the molecules in my body would spontaneously go into combustion.

My breath caught in my throat when I saw her. Multiple scars covered her face, her face had drained color due to loss of blood. "Oh Bea." I breathed, immediately rushing to her side, and crumbling on the stool beside her. I tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Absorbing in her beautiful features, I couldn't help but stare at her in admiration. Even with open wounds all over her body, she still managed to looked breathtakingly beautiful.

She had that effect on me.

She looked so at peace; no frown lines from a long day at work, no eyebrows raised in anger and no hurt in her eyes. If it weren't for all those disfigurements on her face, someone could believe she was just sleeping.

But at the same time, there was no playful smile on her beautiful lips, no sparkle of happiness glistening in her eyes, no giggle escaping her lips, and worst of all no 'I love you's coming my way from her mouth, the genuine one I'd only hear from her, that always made me say it back involuntarily. She was literally doing nothing, she wasn't feeling anything, she wasn't experiencing anything, she wasn't even seeing anything. Anything.

Taking her smaller hand into mine, I intertwined her fingers in-between my own.

Why did it have to be her? Out of all the people involved in the crash, it had to be the love of my life. None of the other patients in the accident got worse than a broken bone or mild concussion; so why is Beatrice -my Bea- in a coma for no reason?

"It's not fair." I stated, letting my eyes gloss over with tears, not bothering to hold them back any longer. My voice cracked at the end, signalling that my tears would have a fall soon.

Never in my life have I ever felt this vulnerable. Never have I been so devastated about anything, ever. Not when my first girlfriend broke my 14 year old heart, not when my father left, not even when the judges for the X-Factor told me I didn't make it as solo act. Nothing could even start to compete with the heartbroken feeling that was tearing me apart.

But unlike all the other heart breaks I had experienced my heart didn't break for myself. Instead my heart was broken for Bea. I couldn't even start to imagine what was going through her head at the moment, if anything actually was. I didn't know if she was thinking. I didn't know if she could hear me, or feel my touch. For all I knew, she might be mentally pushing my hand away from hers.

"Bea, I need you to wake up, you can't leave me." I whispered, tasting the saltiness of my tears. "You're the one thing in my life they I can't live without." I stated, wishing more than anything that she could hear me. "If you took away all the money, all the fame, I know I'd find a way to make it through because I would have you by my side." I admitted. "I know that I can do anything with you by my side."

I just wish she could wake up, or even hear me. At least, not hate me.

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By Your Side got #268 in Short Story yesterday!!! What!?!?! Thank you so much, I'm like freaking out! You guys are the best!!

gif of harreh when he see's Bea :'(

Ok I know that this is really really short but if I had added anything else I'd be waaaay too long. This is just a better view on how Harry feels about Bea. And it's completely adorable and I don't even know how I'm gunna do it at the end of this book.

νσммєηт мє ρℓєαѕє <3