Finding You

Prologue

*Edited and Completed Copy*

Catherine's POV

I stood there staring at the world below me, people rushing to get to their destination while I was rooted to my spot on the 35th floor, watching them from the floor to ceiling length windows. I keep asking myself how I got here? Where did it all go wrong? Or rather when? There was no point in overthinking it now, I agreed to this and I would go through with it. Sometimes we just need to let go and take one step at a time. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

*Flashback*

I was preparing dinner in the kitchen when I heard the front door open. "Nick is that you?" I call out but get no answer. I put the knife I was using to cut the carrots down and make my way towards the front of the house. "Nick?" I call out again but come to a stop when I find him sitting on the lounge in our living room and was staring straight ahead. He had just come home from work and looked tired. "Nick, is everything alright?" I ask softly as I take a seat next to him, placing my hand on his shoulder. The gesture causes him to flinch, leaving me to wonder why? "Catherine, I need to tell you something" he says, he sounded distant and guarded. "Nick your worrying me? What's the matter?" I ask this time worry lacing my voice. This was unlike him; I mean he wasn't the type to show his feelings or even be outwardly affectionate but the way he was acting right now was beginning to set off the alarm bells in my head. "I've filed for divorce" he says without even looking at me. "What?" I whisper, shock coursing it's way through my body. Divorce? "Why? Nick what's going on? Why would you file for divorce?" I ask, I was beginning to panic, this was not how I was expecting the night to go. I wanted us to have a quiet dinner like we usually would, but instead of him working in his office and me reading a book I wanted us to do something together, watch a movie or even go out for a walk, as a couple. The weather was nice and we could just talk, catch up on each other's day. "I can't do this anymore, I'm not happy. I feel like I'm not living my own life." He says with a sigh, sounding almost exhausted. "You're not happy? Why? Have I done something to upset you?" I ask dumbfounded, tears were beginning to make they're way up causing a lump to lodge itself in my throat. "No, I'm not happy Catherine. I haven't been happy for a while and I'm surprised you didn't notice. I think us getting married was a mistake." He says still not looking at me. It was really starting to annoy me that he was capable of breaking my heart but couldn't even spare a glance my way. "I don't understand, where is this all coming from?" I ask hurt and anger lacing my voice now. He doesn't answer me, instead he chooses to look away, in the opposite direction that I'm sitting. Why would he think us getting married was a mistake? I thought we were happy and in love. I mean he did propose to me and we dated for 2 years before that. We grew up together, our families were best friends, and before I fell in love with Nick, I was his sister's best friend and still am. Just thinking of all this made me think of only one thing. "Did you not want to marry me?" I ask hesitantly, my heart was pounding vigorously in my chest. I wasn't sure why I asked that question or if I even wanted to know the answer. Unfortunately, I did ask and the answer that was coming was inevitable. "I don't know Catherine. I don't think so. I mean our families have been best friends since we can remember and we grew up together, at the time, it just seemed like the normal thing to do." He says dryly. Normal thing to do? How is that even normal? I stood up off the couch and took a few steps away from him, before turning away. I couldn't stop the tears now; my heart was tearing itself apart so painfully and there was nothing I could do to stop the pain I was feeling. I stood there silently hugging myself, letting the tears fall. "I'll be leaving tonight; I'm going to pack a few things and I'll come back for the rest sometime during the week" he says standing. He starts to make his way to the stairs, heading up to what now apparently used to be our bedroom. As I stood there crying silently, I could hear Nick make his way up one step at a time. Each step he was taking was breaking another piece of my heart. For the twenty minutes that I stood there silently weeping, I tried to understand what had just happened. I listened as the man I had loved for years, moved around the room above me packing his things. By some miracle, I managed to somewhat compose myself and suddenly found myself waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. Waiting there, I'd managed to muster up the courage to at least try and make him stay. I couldn't just let him leave. I loved him too much to not try. Yet, at the sound of his footsteps making their way down the stairs, I looked up and the sight of him carrying a suitcase with his belongings inside, made all the words I'd planned to say to him lodge themselves in my throat. When he made it to the bottom, I still hadn't uttered a word. The tears however were back and began blurring my vision. As he turned away and reached for the door something in me snapped and I grabbed his arm before I could think twice about it. I felt him stiffen at my touch, the action breaking yet another piece of my heart. "Please, stay" were the only words I managed to whisper as a tear rolled down my cheek, setting itself free from the pool that was beginning to form in my eyes. Nick however didn't see it. The man I had devoted myself to and loved for years had his back to me, prepared to walk out of my life without any hesitation. "Please" I begged, squeezing is arm, just a little but it was all for nothing. Without a word, he shrugged my hand off and walked out the door. As the door sealed shut, I collapsed on the floor and cried hard.
*End of flashback*