Finding You

Chapter Fourteen

Catherine's POV

I woke up this morning feeling different, uneasy. I'd made breakfast and ate it in silence, Jacob was kind enough to join me but didn't mention the events of last night, he just sat and ate his meal in silence as well. I appreciated it more than he would ever know. After breakfast was done, Jacob left for the day and I decided that I'd get onto some of my housework. I cleaned the kitchen, washed all the bedsheets, done the dusting and now here I was sitting lost and confused on the couch. On days like today, when I just wasn't feeling myself, I'd be outside working on some repair that needed to be done or doing some gardening to get my mind off everything that was tormenting me. Today I had no energy or mental strength to do any of that. I'd spent most of last night tossing and turning just thinking about everything that had happened so far in my life. Losing my job wasn't easy, it was the one thing I could rely on to keep me mentally occupied and not think about all that was bothering me. Frustrated I toss the book on the coffee table and decide to go for a walk, I needed to clear my head.

I put my shoes on and grab my phone and keys. Stepping out of the house I felt the warmth of the sun on my skin. The warm breeze surrounding me. I look over across the road and see Mary-Anne working in the garden. She'd started working on her garden in the last couple of days. I'd come to notice the progress on their home and it was turning out very beautiful. The brothers had done very well. It was no surprise though, all three were experienced in building, construction and carpentry. Jacob had mentioned something about the three of them planning to work together but I hadn't asked much about it. Lately, they'd worked tirelessly on the house which no looked almost done. I made my way down the steps and was ready to walk on my usual path when I hear my name called out in the familiar deep baritone voice that made me weak in the knees every time. "Can we talk?" he asks "Not right now, maybe later" I say trying to get away as quick as I can. I really didn't want to talk especially after what happened last night. "Catherine, what happened last night, I want to talk about it" he says being persistent "Damien! Stop!" I snap, instantly feeling terrible. My sudden outburst clearly annoys him as I see the anger evident on his face. "Look, I'm not in the talking mood okay." I say "please" I say softly, practically pleading him to understand. The look in his eyes tells me what I've said has registered, "Okay, later then" he says before turning and walking away. From what I'd learnt so far about this man was that nothing would stop him from doing whatever it was he had in mind to do. So, I knew I would definitely be seeing him later.

An hour later, feeling sore and exhausted from my long walk, I felt no different. I was still frustrated but now for a different reason entirely. During my walk I'd come to realise how much I actually missed working. Although working at the doctor's practice was my first job, it felt good to be a part of something and to earn something for myself. I think I needed to start looking for a job, maybe even look at starting something myself. Maybe I could ask Jacob for some help, I knew I couldn't ask Erica, she worked with her brother.

I take a seat on the front steps of my porch and rest my feet a little before going inside. Lost in my thoughts I didn't notice Damien walking over to me. "Ready to talk now?" is deep voice makes me jump in surprise "Jesus Damien!" I say, surprised "You really are persistent" I say. "I can be, when I want something" he says with a smirk, taking a seat next to me. "Well, what is it that you want Damien?" I ask "I honestly don't have the energy to argue with you" I continue. "You" he says simply. I turn and face him, stare at him for a minute trying to register what he just said "Me?" I ask a little confused "Yes, you." he says staring back at me, I could see the heat in his eyes. "Damien you have someone...last night..." he didn't let me finish "I don't have anyone Catherine, Theresa is my past. She won't ever be in my future. The kiss we shared last night, it felt right. It felt perfect with you." he says taking a hold of my hand as I sit there in silence shocked at what he was saying. "I know things between us have been intense, the first day we met and I looked in your eyes I could see the sadness you were feeling and for some reason I wanted to protect you from it. I don't know why, but it's the truth." I look down at our hands, mine hidden away in his large ones. I could feel my eyes water, I knew what I was about to say to him would upset him. How could I tell this beautiful man that even though I felt that spark as well I just couldn't be in a relationship with him, or anyone at the moment. That I couldn't trust what he was saying to be true. The woman was living with him and his family for god's sake. "Damien..." I pause trying to think of the right words to say "Look I know wasn't the nicest to you when we met and for that I'm sorry. I know trust isn't something easy for you and I understand that. It isn't easy for me too. I want to know you Catherine, if you'll let me" I pull my hand out of his and stand up slowly, taking a couple steps away from him I hug myself for a couple of seconds before turning to face him again. "Damien, I can't do this. I appreciate what your saying, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the same things you felt the first day we met but everything I've been through, I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship." I say sadly. I wanted him there was no denying that but the fear within me was holding me back.

"I know your scared Catherine. I can see it. We'll take it slow" He says as he stands only centimetres away from me "I'll win your heart; I promise you that." he says before walking away in the direction of his home. I look over my shoulder at his broad back. He had no idea that my heart was falling for him slowly no matter how hard I tried to stop it. Turning away I walked up the steps and went inside. It was time to have a shower and prepare dinner. After getting cleaned up, I make my way out of the bathroom and hear the T.V on in the loungeroom. "Jacob is that you, sorry I haven't started dinner yet" I say as I walk into the lounge room. "That's fine, I thought I'd take you out to dinner" to say I was stunned was an understatement. Damien sat causally on the lounge, watching T.V as though it was something, he did all the time. "I don't remember agreeing to go to dinner with you" I say frustrated at his persistence. A part of me was flattered but the scared part of me was annoyed. He turns the T.V off and stands up "Well, I don't remember asking. Now get dressed, wear something warm it's getting cold outside" he says in his bossy tone. "Damien I'm really not in the mood to argue" I say "Then don't. It's just dinner. Plus, Jacobs out with that crazy friend of yours" he says casually. At the last statement I couldn't help but laugh, "crazy friend huh." I say as I look at him for a couple of seconds before shaking my head. I'd never win this battle against him. "Give me a few minutes to change" I say with a soft smile. I watch as his face lights up and he smiles before saying "Sure, I'll wait." Walking down the hallway towards my room, I feel the butterflies forming in my stomach. My heart was racing. Today definitely didn't go the way I'd thought and tonight was no different. Dinner was going to be an interesting event; it was the first time I'd be having a meal with this giant man who made my breath catch and heart flutter at his sight. 

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xx Steph