Finding You

Chapter Two

*Edited and Completed Copy*

Catherine's POV

It's been two weeks since the "disaster dinner" as I liked to refer to that night. After day after the dinner, I woke up to find myself in my bed. I heard banging coming from somewhere in the house, so I gingerly got up and followed the noise to see my dad fixing my front door.

*Flashback*

My dad had his back turned to me, I was barefoot so he didn't hear me coming down the hallway. "Dad" I say softly so I don't startle him. He stops hammering at my door and turns to face me, his face void of any emotion. "What are you doing?" I ask, clueless as to why he was hammering at my door. "Had to fix the door" he says dryly, then turns back around and starts hammering again. I winced at the loud banging, I assumed he was still angry from last night so I wasn't offended by the way he was acting. "Dad why are you fixing my door? It was perfectly fine." I ask a little loudly so he could hear me over the banging. "Not since I had to break it down last night because my daughter wouldn't open the door..." he says irritation evident in his voice. "Why would you break down my door? Jesus dad!" I say walking over a couple more steps, shocked that he had literally broken my door down. I don't even remember him showing up. I remember coming home and crying then after that it's blank. He immediately stops hammering and turns to face me, his face showing all the anger within him " I BROKE THE GOD DAMN DOOR DOWN BECASUDE MY DAUGHTER COULDN'T OPEN IT! SHE WAS UNCONCIOUS!" he roars. I flinch and take a few steps back. In all my years, my dad had never raised his voice at me. He wouldn't even get mad at me. This was the first time he had even done such a thing and it scared me. I see his shoulders drop, as he stands with one hand on his hip with the hammer in his hand while the other rubs at his forehead. "Damn it Catherine!" he says slightly irritated. "I'm sorry honey, this whole thing is hard for me. I hate to see you so...so..." he pauses "miserable?" I fill in for him. "I guess that's the appropriate word" he concludes. "Honey, I know you want to start over and do this alone but last night was an example of why you need you mother and my help. Baby just let us help you." he practically begs as he walks over to me and engulfs me in a hug. "I'm sorry dad" I say softly into his chest. I step out of his hug and walk over to the lounge and drop down into it. "I really need to do this alone. I know my reaction last night wasn't good but you have to understand dad that I am trying really hard to deal with my emotions the best way I know how." I pause, taking a breath before I continue "I wake up every day praying that it's all just a nightmare, that he'll come home but he never does. I try so hard to keep myself busy with work and the house just so I don't have to sit and remember the life I had with him because the minute I do all that hurt and pain comes flooding back drowning me in my own misery. I saw last night that I never stood a chance. He loves her, his love for her is a love that I never had from him. As stupid as this sounds, I'm glad he's happy. I want him to be happy, even if that means without me, then so be it." I say with a sigh. I didn't want anyone to know that this was how I felt but it was the truth. I decided to tell my dad so that he would understand why its so important for me to start over on my own. I wanted him to understand that I didn't want to rely on him and my mother or anyone else because if I did, I would never be able to deal with my emotions either. "I'm sorry you feel that way baby girl, I just hate seeing you so sad all the time. I just want you to be happy and I'd do anything to make that happen." He says pulling me in from my thoughts. I turn and give him a hug. "I know, so please let me do this. If I need help, I promise to ask okay." I say reassuringly. "Okay, cupcake. I love you and we'll always be there for you whenever you need us." He says softly "I know papa. I love you too" I say.

*End of Flashback*

Lying in bed I kept thinking about all that had happened over the past two weeks. I had gone to work every day and come home then do some repairs to the house. Erica had come over a few days ago to check up on me and made sure I was okay. We hadn't seen each other since the "disaster dinner" and she'd been worried. My dad would come by everyday for a cup of coffee even though I knew it was to make sure I was okay and hadn't lost consciousness again like I did that night. I was very grateful for all that he was doing.