i really wanna scream

mango dew

IT'S SO HARD TO WRITE ABOUT YOU WHEN I KNOW THAT I'M WRITING TO YOU
"I'M WRITING THIS TO YOU"
shit, I'm writing to you

okay then,

my sweet magnolia boy
with your pomegranate mind
every worm and tiny fruit bug
annihilating
and chewing away at your seeds
and your heart,
pulverizer cinnamon
paprika
in constant drought of amoure prope
the mojave dessert taking up the entirety of your chest cavity

i know that this isn't enough
but i wanna assure in you
that
i absolutely adore you with all my
left under the sun too long heart.

i think of you, and my head spins right on my fucking neck, twist and turns at the sound of your name
my name, coming from your mouth--your voice
fuuuuuuuck, your voice
the sound of your voice--now that's where i go rabbid
foaming at the mouth, eyes rolling into the back of my head
witnessing the shit show that my mind has become since you've made yourself a resident in it
my name in your contacts should be exorcist bitch with two hearts on the side (just a thought)

and i talk of you
more than i should
more than i like to
but how can i not
when
I'm brimming in
your mortality,
insides flooded
with thoughts of you
little tics I've picked up--
or
the way you breathe when
you're asleep, the little melodic snores that have become my favorite lullaby
the way you your tone has changed over time
and other things that I'll keep to myself
and you know exactly why

i think it's funny when you call me a bitch

and i like the comfort you bring me

but also
you've made of me
this smaller girl (and that isn't necessarily bad, i think)
a version of me
so tiny
i swallow myself whole
and for once,
i don't feel myself gag (okay maybe a little, you've made me pulp decay sweet)
i don't choke at the taste
i don't shutter at the feeling
have me feeling like there isn't something i can't do
I'll can swallow the sun in your universe
and FUCK YEAH, that shit is deteriorating me from the inside out
but god, do i love feeling this warm
god, do i love the flame
you have made of me
this
iridescent
glitzy, kaleidoscope vision
four left clover eyed girl
with her wrinkly, stale and bleak heart
sedated
on whatever the fuck it is
that you jabbed into me
like a careless fuck

and i love it

it's all sticky mango dew, running down your chin on a summers afternoon
me, white sundress
diamond skies
the luck in my eyes tickling the underside of my thighs
and i think
you are the prettiest
with me
running down your chin
and i think
I'll kiss you
taste me on you
taste you

douse you in the light you've granted me
right there in the daises, daddy
whenever you want

I'm all yours
whenever
you
want

this is me @ my boyfriend because he makes me so <3 <3 <3

i hope he doesn't break my heart

and if he does we already know he's getting hexed <3

update after writing that last note, he made me squirt so he's the loml now