Limonene |H. S.|

10. I don't even try

Even though the water in the pool was temperature controlled, I am trembling by the time my legs are too tired to keep swimming around. The house was still crowded and I overheard someone saying Stefan was dealing with an obnoxious neighbour. My hair was wet and full of confetti and the downfalls of tonight were almost completely forgotten, almost, because whenever I let myself think too much the image of a frozen and emotionless Harry would be stamped on the back of my eyelids.

Weirdly enough, it's Tara Lee that comes by my side when I'm stumbling through the people in the back yard, a towel on my shoulders and my makeup probably smeared, my dress very dry as it sits on a garden chair.

"You're pissed." She remarks, grabbing my arm to balance me out.

"Yes, I am quite mad."

"I meant drunk-"

"Maybe even a little more than mad. I'm like, clouded? I'm feeling too many things at once, my head kinda wants to hurt." I sit on a chair beside my pretty dress, holding the towel close to me and straightening my back so I don't look like too much of a lightweight.

"Why are you mad?" Tara asks, staring down at me.

"I thought someone liked me and... I don't think they did." My voice trails off, my mind bombarded with the feeling of dismissal.

"You're joking, right?" For some reason, the friendly tone I was expecting was replaced with an annoyed scowl.

"No, it's the truth, he just left-"

"For eighteen years you've been everyone's favourite, everyones first choice. Best smile, most popular girl, the one everyone wants to hang out with. I'm sorry, but it's ridiculous of you to be crying over something you've never missed out on." Tara's voice holds so much venom and her stance was almost predatory, the lighting showing off her nose ring. In what mindset did she think I was in any state to even understand what she's saying?

"Tara, what the fuck?" My eyes move from her frustrated glare to the chair next to me, where Harry's gift and my phone were supposed to be.

"Stop being such a drama queen, Emily. It's growing old. I don't understand why Lennon still puts up with it." I'm the drama queen? She's the one getting all sensitive over my life.

"What has she got to do with anything?" Was Tara mad about how I allegedly always had everyone's attention or because I had Lennon's attention? "Are you jealous, Tara Lee?" I whisper the last sentence, aware of the prying eyes.

"Of course not." She scoffs.

"I get it, I mean, she's a pretty girl." My feet lift me up as I stand, turning to the gates where Lennon was currently playing some drunken game.

"That's not what I meant."

"If you say so." I shrug at her, picking up my dress and heels as I prepare to go inside. It's probably like four in the morning, all I want to do is go to bed. "And I'm not everyone's favourite by the way, I'm just a little less of a bitch to them."

I hear her huff indignantly as I grow further away from her, halfway across the backyard when I'm confronted by Stefan. "I think I'm done for tonight." I tell him with a sigh.

"Yeah, I was thinking about starting to clear this up, too." I nod and make way to Lennon, pulling her away from some cup flipping game.

"Emily!?" Her pupils are way too dilated to be considered physiological, though I'm probably just as bad.

"Let's go upstairs." She tries to put up a fight but Stefan soon comes by to carry her up the stairs and I follow, holding on to the railing. I honestly had no idea how she was still holding up after so many hours, and in those tall ass heels. Even now, groaning in her brothers arms, she begs us to let her go back to the party.