I'm Lost Without Your Love (Trixya)

Chapter 35- Rules And Regulations

(Katya's POV)

Why am I here is what has been repeating itself within my head since I got taken to this white room with a table and a few chairs. 

This is what us as drug addicts call the interrogation room because in this room, they don't stop asking you fucking questions. 

After Brian left; the rehab decided now is time to go through my life story and get every little detail out of my exhausted body. 

I just wanted to go back to bed to be honest but once you're in rehab, you're on a fixed schedule and there's no way of getting out of it. 

I just wish I could stay in bed all day but unfortunately that doesn't happen; you're up at 5am, ready into clothes, breakfast and then the sessions begins; and what I mean by sessions is the never ending talking of your drug habits for hours on end and not to mention the activities they make you do in order to focus your mind upon your recovery. 

I fucking hate explaining my life story to complete strangers; its going to be the highlight of my day...actually the highlight of my day is going to be seeing Brian everyday, thats what I'm looking forward to. 

Damn I wish I could just discharge myself and go home but now I had to prove to myself that I can be sober and not be dependent on drugs. 

Prove to Brian that I'm not selfish and that I care about him with all of my fucking heart; prove to him how much I fucking love him because without him I'm lost. 

I am lost without his love and having Brian with me and supporting has been the only thing that has kept me going...for a long time now. 

If Brian wasn't around then I would have overdosed a long time ago; in other words death. 

I was too sucked into my thoughts when suddenly an average guy in a white uniform and waist coat walked in with a clipboard in hand. 

"Hi, you must be Brian McCook" he smiled sitting down opposite me; great he's one of those smiley ones when they say they understand you but they clearly have no idea. 

"Hi..." I mumbled not giving him eye contact "okay, I'm Dr Harrison and I've been assigned to you and your recovery" he smiled "sure" I half smiled at him; at least he isn't an asshole, he's trying to be nice and understanding. 

"This session isn't going to be an interrogation; I just need some details from you so I can file them onto the system" he smiled I nodded not really knowing how to give a defined answer. 

"So your name is Brian McCook; your birthday is 1st May 1982 and you are 35 years old" he smiled at me; I nodded and thought to just let him have every little detail that he wanted, I have a feeling I might be here for a while. 

"So Brian, what's your occupation" Dr Harrison asked which suddenly put me on the spot "erm I'm an artist...I am a drag queen and play a Russian character called Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova but you can call her Katya" I said "oh she sounds crazy; anyway these are gonna be the hard questions, just take your time" he smiled and wrote some stuff down upon his clipboard; great the triggering questions which I hate answering. 

"Having looked at your hospital records; the most obvious drug you have taken is Heroine but you have also consumed Meth, Cocaine and Speed, is this right" he asked "yes" I nodded "okay" he said writing some more stuff down; literally every word that is leaving my mouth he is writing down. 

"Your most recent relapse was Heroine and it seems you took that for a few months before being admitted here" he said I nodded "okay and I can see by your records that Heroine is your most consumed drug which does worry me slightly" he said anxious; come on doctor you're supposed to be keeping me calm not making me want to kill myself.