nineteen (bang, bang sequel)

cash-lust

operate - peaches

i just want to thank you guys for supporting this story! i was worried about the sequel crashing and burning to flames but you guys have been so nice for commenting and voting. thank you, it really, sincerely means the world to me!

l.p

"it's so grand to hear from you, james."

i hear the velvety texture of richard's voice on the other line and i already feel defeated, knowing that this is exactly what the man expected of me, james, (the name i had given him). i'm devastated, not by the insults that danielle had hurled at me, but the fact that i was no nearer to the day i finally meet my little girl. instead, i was further from what i wanted and it fucking destroyed me. on the bus trailing back to the city, i had bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked through half of them at the bus stop beside a petulant old woman. i spent the day being scolded and drenched with sweat, wondering if my self esteem will ever be restored. i felt like i couldn't even go back to zayn's apartment and give him the news — i was far too humiliated.

"are you free, richard?" i asked, my voice far too raspy for my nineteen years of age. now, as i stand in the middle of the city, near the marriott, i wanted this to be clear. i know what i'm doing and i know how this works -- don't forget that i'm from the outskirts of this filthy city and knew these streets from the back of my hand. i'm aware of what these immoral things entail, because this is what i come from. i spend so much time running from it -- but being a degenerate is what i'm most familiar with.

"in what terms are you speaking of?" he piqued and i could hear him sitting in a bar, the type where rich people sit and drink during the day with the loud rumble of prestigious laughter.

"why else would i call you, richard? i'm whoring myself out, take it or leave it." i muttered into my phone, a lady in a beige coat gaping at me as she overhears when she walks past.

heaving a deep breath in, i realize how much i fucked up for buying a pack of cigarettes when i know that due to the state i'm in, the box is nearly empty. digging my hands into my pocket, i feel guilt sparking through me for lighting up, continuing anyway with the knowledge of what zayn had went through all because of these pointless little cancer sticks. a part of me needed it, my addictions had been scraped off of my skin like an unwanted blemish, but at this moment, i couldn't stop myself -- it as if i was dying of thirst in the middle of desert and i needed something to soothe my cravings.

"oh goodie, i was feeling rather bored. you know where to find me." richard said as i ambled my way towards the marriott through a couple of crowded blocks, where i can already picture the man to be seated at a bar located on the bottom floor. taxi cabs breeze past like rapids of crashing water, the sounds of the city's atmosphere clouding my mind.

"so, tell me what you want and i'll do it. i'm only discussing money on the phone and that's it." i declare and i hear the man chuckle, knowing that it wasn't going to be that easy. i wasn't about to make quick money just from some lonely, rich bastard's dick in my mouth. he wanted entertainment and i was going to be that for him.

"you know, there's something so thrilling about you, james. you're all rough and brash, probably scare me shitless if you approached me late at night. a quick mouth that gets you in trouble and intrigues me all at once. but yet, you're endearing. vulnerable... vaguely sweet when you forget to guard yourself. you have the whole world fawning over you, yet you're clueless." he pauses, "i looked you up, you know, and what an interesting background you have. i've got people who do this shit for me, but you were fairly simple to find. i know your name isn't james, but i'm happy to pretend, darling." i could practically hear his cunning smirk which only makes me fume -- and it doesn't help that today's events have infuriated me to my bitter end. i'm close to hanging up and getting drunk somewhere, but the thought of my little girl stops me.