Poker Man

Memories

He shouldn't be here, he shouldn't even be near this apartment, or this room. But he has nowhere to go, not anywhere he wanted to be anyway. He could stay with Jean if he really wanted to, but he doesn't. He doesn't need the obnoxious senior to yell in his ear about what he did wrong or how happy he is he finally lost his stupid virginity. His hand mindlessly swipes across his fathers dresser, then pulls his finger back to see a layer of dust coating the digit. He grimaces, then wipes the finger on his jeans. As he shuffles around the room, the empty bottles and cigarette cartons spread around the stained carpet. His eyes catch something shiny, and he turns to see a brand new packet of cigarettes.

He picks it up, then tears the wrapper off. He flips the top and picks one of the cancer stick, then places it between his mouth. He stuffs the package into his back pocket and looks around for a lighter. It doesn't take long to find one, and soon enough the stick is lit and smoke fills his lungs. He leaves, and goes to his room. It's plain, everything either at Levi's mansion or gone, then again he never had much to begin with. He opens the closet, then smiles sadly, letting out a humorless chuckle. He plops down on the closet floor, though there isn't much room, and picks the cane up, cigarette in mouth. Tears well up in his eyes, he harshly wipes them with the back of his hand.

Eren's hands trail down the stick, memories of his first encounter with Levi and his gang forcing themselves in his mind, he sniffs. He shouldn't be here, in this apartment. The land lord's looking for rent, and Eren doesn't feel like coming up with a lie to tell the man. Another strangled sob makes it's way out his mouth, he clutches the walking stick closer to his chest.

Why does it hurt so much? He wonders, eyes squeezed shut, still, though tears still somehow manage to slip past his eyelids. The stick flys from his hands, and a piercing scream is heard through the small room. He punches the wall, the ache in his knuckles ignored. He pulls at his hair and kicks and screams, cigarette forgotten on the floor, yells until his voice gives out and he falls to his knees. He feels arms wrap around him, but he continues to thrash around, trying to get out the grip.

"Eren, calm down." The voice is fuzzy and Eren can't place it with a face.

"I'm done!" He yells in response.

"God damnit Eren, calm the fuck down!" The voice yells, Eren finally falls slack in Jean's arms, but cries can still be heard.

"I'm done." His voice is barely a whisper, Jean sighs and sits down on the floor, then lays Eren's head in his lap. He lets him cry, slowly stroking his head and rubbing circles in his arm. Eren cries until there's nothing left, until he can't anymore.

"What happened?" Jean asked simply, deciding he needed to know for sure, though he had a thought; he just had to know for sure if he needed to kill a certain mafia boss anytime soon.

"We had sex." Eren said, and waited for Jean's happy yells, but none came, just silence.

"Then I almost got killed. Again." He continued, not bothering to give Jean the details.

"Then he told me to leave." He explained, his voice cracking in the middle of his sentence. Jean nodded his head understandingly.

"Do you love him?" He asked, Eren bit his lip, then nodded.

"Yes." He breathed. Jean shrugged, then got up, dragging Eren with him.

"Well, then, lets go." He took the shorter by the wrist and pulled him through the room and into the living room.

"Wait, where are we going?" Eren asked as he was roughly lead to Jean's car.

"The man himself, you have to settle this once and for all." Eren's eyes widened at Jean's words, he stopped Jean's hand that was on the shift. Jean looked him in the eye.

"Eren Jaeger, he hurt you. It's my obligation, as your best friend, to either go beat his ass, or help you make up. And I am not beating his ass because I haven't even met him and he already scares the living shit out of me. Therefore, we settle this, like men." He gave Eren a meaningful stare before he could argue.

"You don't even know where he lives." Eren pointed out as he crossed his arms and pouted, Jean scoffed.

"I know people." He said, Eren raised an eyebrow. "I looked through your phone when you were sleeping, it was in your notes." Eren's mouth dropped.

"Jean!" He pushed the other as he put the addressing the GPS.

"Sorry, it has to be done." He was about to exit the parking lot when Eren stopped him once again.

"Wait, can't we go tomorrow, I really don't feel like seeing him today. Just give me one night to think about it, please." He begged, Jean sighed, then nodded.

"Ok, but one day. And we're not going to school so don't think you can use that as an excuse." Eren opened his mouth, Jean put a hand over it before he cold say anything. "Just accept it Eren, just accept it." Eren started to pout again, but a grin found it's way on his mouth, Jean raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I love you." Eren said simply, Jean dramatically flipped his hair.

"I know, I'm just a lovable guy. Now lets hurry home, my parents are gone for the week and I want binge watch Queer as Folk again." Eren did object. He was happy he had Jean as a best friend.

I know, it's been like five years, I'm sorry, please forgive me. I just had a lot of stuff going on, plus I reading some real good fanfic right now and this shit got me HOOKED. Also, I've been thinking of writing some BTS fan fiction, but I don't know if I should or not since I already have like ten other Ereri fics I want to publish but still need to edit. I'm just so confused. Anyway, thanks for reading, have an amazing day, bye!

P.S. this song is dedicated to a fic I'm about to publish, which involves a troubled Eren and a confused Levi.