Effervescent ~ Fillie

•Dear Diary•

11.4.18
Dear diary,

This was a gift from my grandma, just thought I would mention this.

To the point.

You know that feeling when you just want to sleep for a while whilst something bad is happening.

Well that's what I'm feeling, a feeling of anger and sadness combined. And to me that's a dangerous mixture.

Your probably sipping your teas and wondering 'why is she feeling like this?' Well she is feeling like this because she got a phone call. A phone call telling her that her parents died.

I'm not one to beat round the bush.

'How did her parents die?' Your probably asking. Well, my son of a bitch uncle rammed into them. All because they didn't pay him fucking £1000. That piece of shit. See, my dad and him we're rivals. Fought over who had the better car, who's wife cooked better meals etc.

But what I never found out was why they never involved me or his child. His child was Romeo Beckham. He's not a bad kid, he's actually quit decent. He's a year younger. Yeah, we used to play together but we were never close. The one thing I like about him is how he's the same to everyone, and how honest he is. He was kind when he was younger, still kind now. If he's nice to one person, he's nice to everyone else. But if the boy doesn't like you, then he doesn't like you.

Moving on.

I feel like I'm losing everyone. First we had to fucking move away, leaving Romeo and some other people behind, then my grandad died, then my auntie died, then my cat hermoine died, and my grandad. The icing on the cake was my grandad and nieces death, both because of cancer and this. This was the cherry on this god fucking damn cake. God, why do you hate me. Give me a break.

Not gonna lie, I didn't really like hermoine but she was soft.

The feeling. This feeling is a new one. Regret, anger, sadness, devastation. Depression. I regret not talking to them as much as I wish to, I'm angry at myself for not listening to them, sad because they didn't love me and devastated because I didn't love them back.

Give me a round of applause.

Thought I'd mention something else, I listen to Drake when I'm in a bad mood. It soothes me.

The only thing that made them happy was my siblings and my grades. I was Top set for everything, and got the highest marks. But I'm the typical girl to go out and drink every weekend, but I go to drink away my anger, fear, feelings and what not.

Me and my siblings love each other very much, but sometimes our parents would ruin that love just because I wasn't the daughter going to Harvard or Yale. Paige helps me out a lot, Charlie is funny and can lighten any motherfuckers mood and Ava is just my everything. If you try and hurt any of them, lets just say someone will need to hold my hoops.

I'm fairly popular and so is Sadie, my best friend. She is the only one that knows about my problems, but to me her ginger hair seems full of secrets. Don't get me wrong, we tell each other everything but there's at least one thing that we don't tell each other.

She's dating the school jock, Caleb. He's a good dude but very stupid. He hates many. Then there's Gaten Matarazzo. Sometimes I tell him how I feel because he's trustworthy and always lifts my mood, but sometimes I see him upset, but don't say anything. Then there's Noah Schnapp. He's my closest guy friend. I trust him, but I trust Sadie a little more. Then there's Finn. Most beautiful boy I've ever seen. But personality wise...

Lets go straight to the shit.

Me and him dated, I still have feelings, I don't know about him. Straight to the point. We broke up because of our lack of trust. We both loved parties and always thought one was of with someone, hooking up. We would always check each other's phones and what not. The first 'I love you' was right before he walked out of my life.

Keep sipping your tea, my story's probably gonna get worst.

______________________________
This is the only diary chapter, maybe one later on. But leave comments on this piece of shit book. I have an idea of how to carry my idea of this book out.

!Adios putas!