Smile

8

I woke up on the beach the next morning,

Aching all over.

My head hurt the worst

And I couldn't even get up.

At least I was covered by a towel

Because I'm pretty sure

I was naked.

I tried to remember what happened,

But I could remember

Just up to making out with that guy..

Then it's blank.

I have a feeling

That he drugged me,

And took away

What I can never get back.

 

But I didn't want to think about that,

So I somehow got home

And showered

And changed into sweats and a t-shirt.

At least today was Saturday.

I ate some soup

Because I at least deserve something

After what happened last night.

I couldn't finish it,

But I didn't throw it up

Which I guess is a good thing.

 

My furniture came today.

I had them bring it in,

And set it up where I wanted.

My head was pounding the entire time

But at least now

I have all my furniture.

I put the bedding on my bed

And after everybody left

I collapsed on it

And took a very long nap.

 

Later that day

My parents

Told me to get up

Off my lazy butt

And get ready for some company.

And I have to wear something nice.

So I put on one of the designer dresses

I had

And curled my hair.

I put on some make up,

And spritzed some perfume.

 

At the dinner table,

I played with my food.

My parents were too busy

Talking to my dad's boss

To notice.

The boss's wife was sitting next to me,

And she asked me why I wasn't eating.

I shrugged,

So she left me alone

And ignored me

The rest of dinner.

 

After dinner,

My sister went immediately upstairs

And so did I.

She kinda glanced at me in the hallway

But I just went into my room.

I was sitting at the bay window

Looking outside.

I couldn't believe

I'd gotten raped

The night before.

The thing is,

I didn't feel anything

Where it's supposed to...

It didn't hurt.

Maybe he didn't..?

But he had to..

Why else would I have been

Naked on the beach?

 

I found another pack of cigarettes

In my dad's dresser.

I wanted to forget about last night.

So I smoked.

Everything felt lighter.

After I finished my third cigarette,

I changed into shorts

And a tank top.

I took Macey for a walk

'Cause I hadn't done that in a while.

 

When I got back

I started feeling dizzy.

I ignored it though

And showered.

When I got out,

The world started spinning,

Around and around

And around and around..

Then,

Everything went black,

And I fell to the ground.