Smile

19

We somehow made it

Inside of a house.

I'm not really sure

If it's a good thing,

But at least now we're not sliding around outside

Where we were pounded by rain

And swept away by the wind.

It's no cellar

In the middle of town,

But at least it's something.

Better than nothing, right?

Anyways,

Delilah and I

Were huddled in the basement

With two blankets,

A candle,

Water,

(Not that there isn't enough outside)

And some food we found in the pantry.

I haven't spoken

Since we came inside

But there doesn't seem to be

Much to talk about

If you ask me.

I mean,

Sure,

I was wondering

If Ingrid

And Shane

And even my parents

Were okay,

But I wasn't going to voice my thoughts.

It made it too real.

Then I realized something...

Macey!

I don't know if my parents

Would think to get her

From my room.

What if she was alone

In my room?

Stuck?

Because my door was shut.

I remember that much.

If Macey dies

I don't know if I can forgive my parents.

And I know it isn't fair

To blame them

If she does die,

But I can't help it.

Because I have to blame someone.

I have to blame something

Other than myself.

Because if I blame myself

I can't live with myself,

And I'm trying not to let myself

Go to those thoughts.

Once I'm there,

I can't dig myself out.

I'll be stuck there,

And I think

I might go outside

If I let myself go there.

And where would that leave Delilah?

She's only fifteen

For goodness sake.

I'm a messed up

Piece of crap,

But she has a chance.

Maybe I do too.

But for right now,

My focus is to stop myself

From doing something stupid.

And now,

Apparently,

To find

Another safe haven,

Because the basement

Just started flooding.