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June 2019

I felt groggy. Like I had been cut open and someone had rearranged my insides, and when I finally opened my eyes everything was blurry like someone took out my contacts.

When my vision cleared up, everyone was around. Ryan was on one side, leg bouncing, and his hair was going in ten thousand directions like always when he was nervous. Greg was by the window, with Lexi sleeping against his shoulder. And my sister, Mel. Who looked like she had been crying and now I was confused with how long I had been passed out because it was at least an eight-hour drive to Nashville from Indiana. And that's on a good day.

"Jesus, you guys look like someone died," I groaned out. Everyone all but jumped out of their chair as soon as they heard my voice. Ryan bolted out of the room without saying anything.

"Hey Short Stuff, how you feel?" Melissa asked sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I feel like shit, how long was I out for? Did you drive here?"

Before she could answer Ryan came back into the room followed by the doctor and nurse.

"Good morning Miss Gallagher, how do you feel?"

"Like you cut me open and rearranged my organs. Can someone please tell me what happened?"

"Lex and I will go get coffees, just...text us when it's okay to come back," Greg said leading Lexi out of the room.

"Miss Gallagher, you had what's called an ectopic, or tubal pregnancy."

"Okay, see I wasn't pregnant, so this doesn't make sense. I just started my period like two days ago," I interrupted.

"When the egg fertilized it attaches in your Fallopian tube, not the uterus like a healthy pregnancy. The bleeding wasn't your period, it was the tube rupturing. The extreme pain in your abdomen and the heavy bleeding were because the pregnancy progressed without indication and didn't have enough room to grow."

"I... what? I'm pregnant?"

I couldn't wrap my head around what the doctor was saying. We were careful. Always. How the hell did this happen?

"We had to terminate the pregnancy. We managed to get the bleeding under control, but there was significant damage to the Fallopian tube, we had to remove it."

I didn't realize Ryan had my hand until I felt the wet drip onto the back of my hand, and when I looked over, I saw how bad he actually looked.

"Can you guys give us a minute...please?"

The doctor nodded, "of course, we'll be back in to check on you soon."

Mel stood up and leaned over to kiss me on the head, "I'm gonna call and check in at home."

Silence feel around them the very moment they were left alone, the only semblance of sound coming from the incessant bleeping of my heart monitor, and Ryan's shuddering breaths as he tried so obviously to hold it together.

Pregnant?

I was pregnant?

Was.

It couldn't be true.

Without even thinking, I found herself reaching to the very tender spot, low on my stomach, and, staring straight ahead at the white wall before me, I touched the bandaged wound, my eyes stinging with unshed tears as a sudden, unexpected and overwhelming emotion came over me. Without even realizing, the one thing I'd always wanted had been taken away from me.

Ryan looked to see a single, solitary tear slip from my eye and trail my pale cheek, and immediately his heart broke.

"Ol," he started, his voice gravelly and thick with emotion. "Please don't-"

I flinched, pulling away from him as best as I could, as much as the chords I was attached to allowed me. I looked up at him, studying his face fraught with the same devastation I felt.

"This is all your fault," I whispered, coming to the realization then and there. Ryan gaped at me, his red-rimmed eyes widening.

"This is all your fault!" I repeated, my cracking voice slightly louder.

"Mollie!" Ryan gasped, his breath catching at the back of his throat as he processed my words.

I closed my eyes, taking a few deep breaths in through my nose, desperately trying to calm myself. I knew I was being irrational, but the pain coursing through my veins was far too much for me to deal with. At that moment, I hated Ryan.

"I want you to get the hell out of here!" I hissed through gritted teeth, unable to look at him.

Unable to hold his emotion in any longer, a sob escaped Ryan's lips as his tears streamed down his cheeks. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I hate you," I cried, a sob of my own bubbling up from the back of my throat. I winced in pain, gently clutching my stomach. "I never want to see you again... Get the hell out of here!"

Ryan took an unsteady step backward, looking at me as if I had just ripped his heart out. And, in a way, I probably had. He knew I was in pain, but so was he. Everything I'd just lost, he'd lost too. He wished I could understand that he was hurting just as much as I was. He needed me right now, but I hated him.

Swallowing the lump at the back of his throat, Ryan offered a nod, swiping his damp cheeks with the sleeve of his shirt. He turned, almost tripping over his own feet, and, without even one final look back at me, he pushed his way out the door, staggering out into the hallway.

Greg and Lexi glanced up from where they were sitting across the way, Greg's brow furrowing in confusion and Lexi's face falling in recognition.

"Everything okay?" Lex asked, clearly knowing the answer.

Without an answer - because he really didn't have one to give - Ryan turned, and before he could even stop himself, he ran. He didn't know where he was going, or even why he was running; all he knew was that he needed to get as far away as possible, because his life depended on it.

**super special thanks to Shannnxoxo for being an enormous help with the last part of the chapter. Let me know what you guys think!! **