Young and Confused ☆ Ryden {COMPLETED}

☆5☆

Here it is, Monday. The day Ryan had been dreading a bit more than he would have been since Friday night. Ryan was talking to Spencer, and he felt his stomach twisting tighter with every passing minute. He didn't know why. He didn't know what it was. Maybe it was something he ate, or maybe he caught some sort of stomach bug. He didn't know, however, that the twisting would become more aggressive.

Spencer was mid-sentence, Ryan didn't know what he was talking about because he was too focused on the twisting, when he stopped talking because they heard Brendon shouting at them.

"Guys!" he shouted in a sing-song voice.

Ryan and Spencer turned in Brendon's direction, and that's when the twisting got extreme. It was like a vice was gripped tightly around his midsection. He had also felt his stomach drop to his toes. His eyes went down to their hands. Their intertwined hands. Then he was done. He didn't know why. Was he jealous that his friend got a girlfriend before him?

He was snapped out of his daze when Brendon got his attention. "Ryan, you okay?" He raised an eyebrow and looked into Ryan's eyes.

Ryan's eyes ripped his gaze from their hands and looked between him and Sarah before saying, "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I-I'll be right back, I'm going to go to the restroom."

"Uh, okay, see you in a few minutes!" he called as Ryan sped to the boy's bathroom. He entered a stall and set his things on the dirty floor. His hands were shaking. He barely knew this boy for a week, and yet he feels some sort of, some sort of attraction. But he tells himself that, no, he is, in fact, straight and does not have any feelings of attraction towards Brendon. It's what he tells himself, at least, because his quivering body tells him otherwise. He takes in a shaky breath and unlocked the stall and exited the bathroom, and made his way to math.

Ryan walks down the aisle of desks and sits down at his. Lucky for him, an eighth grader that sits in between Ryan and Brendon has gotten here so he won't have to make any weird conversation with Brendon.

**

The day went on pretty normally. At lunch, Ryan barely said anything, which was unlike him. Sarah didn't have their lunch period, so he wasn't burdened with awkwardness. He did fake his smiles again like he did with Spencer before he met Brendon.

Brendon was able to make Ryan feel happy again. He didn't know how or why, like he felt about a lot of things. It was probably because Brendon's smile was so contagious. Ryan still enjoyed Spencer's company, though. They had known each other since they could remember.

When Ryan got home, he wanted to test a hypothesis. At least, that's an appropriate title, he thought. His dad had not returned from work yet, he was probably at some bar near his workplace. He went up into his room and retrieved his laptop he had gotten for his birthday a couple years ago. He sat down on his bed and opened the laptop he had set on his lap. He began doing some research. And no, he wasn't going to the extreme, just reading articles and taking, most likely, inaccurate quizzes.

That night, he just laid in his bed, looking at the ceiling. It was really hard for him to fall asleep. There was only one thought circulating throughout his mind, Am I gay?

---

A/N: Short chapter, sorry.

And yes, I did slightly change the cover, there aren't any words on it now.

Song Suggestions:

Cancer ● My Chemical Romance

Cancer (Cover) ● Twenty One Pilots

Personally, I think both versions are good, but I like MCR's better. These have gotten more personal than they had been lately.