Benedict Cumberbatch and the Nerd [Benedict Cumberbatch one shot]

Benedict Cumberbatch and the Nerd Day One

                                                Day One

The day I received the email from PBS I couldn’t believe my good fortune. I had won a trip to the UK and a walk on part for the show Sherlock-BBC. So, a month later and I still can’t believe I am on a plane to London. It’s an amazing turn of events because well nothing ever happens to me. I could describe the hotel, the plane trip, blah, blah, blah, however I am pretty sure you want to know about the set. Benedict Cumberbatch, Martin Freeman, etc. Ok, so now how to describe myself. Well, I’m a nerd. I play violin, I’m a genius at math, and I have only been on one date.  So, on the cab ride over to the set the reality sets in that I am going to meet Benedict and Martin and well I am starting to feel nervous. What if I totally blow it and I don’t get to go on the set or worse yet what if I make a fool of myself in front of Benedict?

So, a set is not like anything you can ever imagine it is crowded and there is a lot of sitting around. I am  to be playing violin on a street corner and as Benedict and Martin walk by, Benedict is supposed to throw some money in my violin case. When the director found out how good I am on violin, they insisted I play myself. I have been prepped, told where not to look, etc and so there I was playing Bach’s Partita number one in front of God and everyone. Before the shot Benedict came over to where I was and introduced himself. I am first one to speak, if that’s what you want to call it. “Oh Hi, so nice to me you, my name is Charlotte. What’s yours?”

I laugh the laugh of the damned. All I need now is a “Me Loves Me Kitty” T-shirt. My face is red and I nervously push my glasses up on my nose. Benedict is a total gentleman and acts as if he doesn’t see me crashing and burning. “So, “Benedict says, “Is this your first trip to London?”

I am tall at almost six feet, however, Benedict is much taller and I feel so small. “Um, Um, yeah, oh I mean yes.” Jesus, could it get worse? Yep, it does. Benedict makes a graceful escape from the nerd web that I spun and I am left at the curb with my violin. When you hear how simple the directions  I was given were, you are going to definitely think that I have some sort of genetic deficiency. I  was to stand in front of a fake coffee shop and play my violin. Benedict and Martin would walk by. Benedict then will throw some money in my case and he and Martin would walk away. I had no lines or anything. Simple, right?  WRONG.

So, everything starts out fine. I stand on my curb and play, but then disaster strikes. I blame what happened next on the frigging English climate. I take a small step forward ,slip on the rain soaked curb, as I am playing and then whoosh flat on my ass I go. Violin goes one way, and I and the bow go the other way, the director doesn’t yell cut and so Benedict and Martin stay in character.

Sherlock reaches down and helps the woman up from the curb; John walks over and grabs the violin out of the street. My elbow is starting to really bleed. “Jesus, that hurts.” I whimper

Sherlock leans his head to one side like a curious puppy. “You’re American?”

I have still not heard cut, so I continue on with the scene. “No, shit, Sherlock, you are brilliant. Do you think you could call over Doctor Watson to help me, or is he just ornamental?”

“CUT” As soon as the director yells cut, Benedict ushers me over to the first aid station to get bandaged up. My heart is pounding. How much trouble am I in now? Film is expensive and I’m pretty sure my $40.00 pledge to PBS is not going to cover it. My smart ass mouth has landed me in more hot water than I can imagine. The director beckons to Benedict and I make good my escape. My hands are shaking as I ease an e-cigarette out of my purse. The violin is not mine, so I can make a clean get away. I am almost scott free when I hear Benedict calling behind. “Wait, excuse me? Madame?”

Shit he can’t even remember my name and the title Madame makes me sound like I run a cat house. I slow my pace there is no way I can outrun him. Benedict is out of breath and he huffs and puffs in front of me, and yes even my celibate heart did a flip flop. “I’m sorry,” he gasps, “What was your name again?”

I smiled cynically. “Charlotte, and I am terrible with names as well. What was your again?” I snort laugh through my nose, thinking I am so fucking cool. Trust me it went flat.

Benedict just looks at me politely and then he starts to laugh. I am so nervous I start to laugh too. I am the first one to speak. “Hey, I know I cost the set a lot of money. I have no idea how to pay it back, so I guess I should just leave.”

Benedict makes direct eye contact with me. “It’s your lucky day, Charlotte. The director loved how the scene played; he is going to leave it in.”

I swallow, why I didn’t put on some mascara or something. What’s the scene going to be called beauty and the beast? I’m still sucking on my e cigarette; it fills the air with the smell of peach. Then guess what? No, I didn’t fart, I started to cry. Cry, really? Yep, cry and believe me I don’t cry pretty. Sobbing, face red, tears going down my face, snot coming out of my nose and drooling, I began to cry harder out of embarrassment.

Benedict takes out a handkerchief and pats my shoulder. “There, there, everything is going to be okay.”

 I take the handkerchief, what a class act. I mean who actually hands out a hankie these days? Aw, Benedict you have already broken my heart. I get a semblance of control and sniff and blow my nose on the hankie, and yes you guessed it I started to hand it back to him. I’ve got to give Benedict kudos for politeness, for he just smiled and told me to keep it. Due to my injury, Benedict offered me a lift back to my hotel in his limo. The ride was pretty quiet as Benedict rambled on and on and I just sat mute in horrified shock at the events of the day.

“So, Charlotte, have you ever been to London?” Benedict asks

I shake my head, no.

“Anything you want to see? Tower of London, Big Ben, Parliament, maybe the crown jewels?”

“No, Tower of London, I feel sorry for all those Ravens that have had their wings clipped. They can never be truly free.”

Benedict nods and seems to see me for the first time. “I never thought of it that way, but I suppose it is cruel to clip their wings.”

“Plus,” I added gaining more confidence,” the Tower of London has had too many executions. I guess I am not impressed with man-made buildings.  I would like to see the country side, the real natural England and of course I have always wanted to see the Auto-Icon Jeremy Bentham, you know the stuffed economist.”

“I know who Jeremy Bentham is; I just never figured it to be a place a woman would not want to go to. Not that there is anything wrong with that.” Benedict hastily added.

The ball feels like it is in my court, but again I just sit there like a silent lump.

“So, how would you like to go see Jeremy Bentham and the countryside tomorrow?” Benedict’s voice is full of cheer.

Oh boy so here goes; I swear this is what I said. “Okay so, long as it’s not a date because I don’t date.” Did I just hear the collective moan of every Cumberbitch on the planet? I feel a little sad that Benedict looked so relieved. “No, problem Charlotte, I assure you that you are perfectly safe with me. By the way, how do you feel about motorcycles?"

I snort and laugh at the same time,"I love them I drive an electric Zero Streetfighter.”

Benedict eyes widened in surprise, “Charlotte, you are so different.”

“”You mean, special?” I laugh as I say it, but I don’t feel that it’s funny at all. In fact it makes me feel pretty empty inside.

The Limo rolls to a stop in front of my hotel and before I know it I am waving good-bye to the limo, like some kind of major geek. To my surprise though, Benedict waves back.

 code bookworm