Benedict Cumberbatch and the Nerd [Benedict Cumberbatch one shot]

Day 5 Falling Snowflakes

Day 5

Well, the day is here, I will be leaving London today. I got a text from Benedict early that morning that he was going to try and stop by to say good-bye. One Continental Breakfast and a chocolate bar from the gift shop later, it appears that he is not going to make it. So, I check out and go downstairs to wait for a cab. I am only there a few minutes when Benedict drives up.

“Hi, Benedict, I am so glad you made it,” I say as I gallop over to him.

Benedict smiles, “I couldn’t miss the opportunity to see you off. You know what they say; when angels fly the sky is clear.”

I nod silently, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Okay, so I have your e-mail and cell number and you have mine, so keep in touch.”

Benedict grins. “Sure thing, Charlotte.”

I take a deep breath and decide that I am going to tell him how I feel. I know, I know a fruitless attempt, however, I would always wonder so I begin. “Um well, I probably will not text you, because well I’m all thumbs.” I say as I nervously laugh at my own joke. “Um Benedict?”

Benedicts leans a little closer. “Yes, Charlotte?”

I sigh and then the words began tumbling from my mouth like tokens from a winning slot machine in Vegas. It was so terrible, that I hesitate to tell you, dear reader. Well, okay I would want to know too.

“So, Benedict, I just wanted you to know that I have had such a good time. Thank you so much for everything and….um I well I sort of have feelings for you. I mean I know I am kind of dorkey, but I am loyal and patient. I wouldn’t mind trying a long distance relationship and well I’m …” My voice trails off and I feel like such an idiot. “Oh, gosh Benedict, never mind I’m sorry,” I say as I get up drag my pink Hello Kitty Suitcase with wheels to a more private place around the corner.”

I hear Benedict get up, so I run. I have to get away, I am so embarrassed. His footsteps pound the pavement. “Charlotte, wait,” he says as he gently restrains my arm. He points to a set of benches at the back of the hotel. “Charlotte, let’s go and sit.”

I am looking down at the ground. “What about my cab?” I sniff.

“Charlotte, you can get another cab, just come and sit by me for a moment,” he says as he pats the bench beside him.

I shuffle over and sit down. I am still not looking up. Benedict puts his hand underneath my chin. “Charlotte, look at me.”

I shake my head no. However, like lookey loos passing a wreck, I look up into Benedict’s eyes. They look sad. Oh, no pity eyes, great. “It’s okay Benedict, I’m fine. I was just being stupid. I mean how could someone like you fall for someone like me? I wear glasses, snort when I laugh and I always, always say the wrong thing.”

Benedict looks away and his eyes are dark and angry. His expression is one that I have seen him use for Sherlock and it creeps me out because Benedict is nothing like Sherlock. “Charlotte, I never want to hear you put yourself down like that again. You are a wonderful, smart, beautiful person and if you assume that a person like me couldn’t fall for a person like you, then you have greatly underestimated your charm. Charlotte, one of the things that impress me the most about you is your ability to care. After all who would dash out into traffic at rush hour, just to save a homeless kitten? You are also the only person I have heard that felt grief over the fact that the Tower of London ravens have their wings clipped so they can never fly far.  Charlotte, you have the ability to live in the moment and laugh at yourself. All of those are such rare qualities. As for you and I, it is simply a case of bad timing.”

The tears are freely flowing down my cheeks now. “I know in a different time and place, ships passing in the night, it’s not you, it’s me, and my all-time favorite, let’s just be friends.” Benedict puts his arms around me and just lets me cry for a few moments. “It’s just that I feel so safe around you, it’s as if nothing bad can ever happen to me again. I know it’s not logical, but I have not felt safe since the shooting and well it is wonderful to not be so, so lonely.” I lean into him for a few minutes, then pull myself away and in a rush the noise of the city shatters my sense of security. I look towards the street. “Look I point, there’s a cab. I’d better go.” Benedict gives me a quick hug. I get up and then turn. “Au revoir, Benedict.”

Benedict is smoking a cigarette; he takes a long drag before he answers me. “Adieu, Charlotte.”

The nuance is not lost on me and I pause. Then spontaneity takes over and I drop the handle of my suitcase and run to Benedict for one more hug. “Please, don’t say Adieu.”

Benedict’s expression is melancholy, then he smiles, and with that smile my world seems safe again. “Au revoir, Charlotte.”

Well, I pretty much cried all the way to the airport, on the flight home, in my car as I drove from the airport, okay well on and off for about three months. A bucket of tears and several pounds of chocolate later things began to settle down to my usual routine. I kept in touch with Benedict through e mail, etc. The first time I emailed him, I fully expected to get a daemon system delivery email failure. However, true to his word Benedict kept in touch, until one day the emails grew fewer and fewer and then not at all.

Christmas Eve 2014 Riverside, CA USA

Wow, I can’t believe it’s almost Christmas. Contrary to popular belief, Southern California can be very Christmasey without snow. For example, in Riverside, where I live we have the Mission Inn(never was a mission though) and it is decorated with so many lights and animated figures that it looks like Disneyland. Anyway, I was sitting with my family in the living room after driving around to see the Christmas lights, when out of the blue I thought of Benedict. “I think I will send him a Christmas email.” I thought.

Email: “Hi, Benedict, I haven’t heard from you in a while. I’m sorry I missed you at San Diego Comic-Con; I had a prior engagement I couldn’t get out of. ( Dear reader, the truth is that I just didn’t have the money and then I said what the hell and drove down to San Diego in hopes that I would be able to buy a ticket. Several hours later I went home empty handed. No Comic Con, no Benedict.) Anyway, I saw the Imitation Game; it was so wonderfully sad, your performance made everyone in the theatre cry. I really think you are going to get an Oscar. If you come out for the Academy Awards give me a call. We could get a coke or something. Geeze that sounds lame, oh well you know what I mean. Anyway I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Yours Truly, Charlotte.”

Christmas 2014 London, UK

Benedict felt relaxed and happy, it was Christmas and he was in a room filled with family friends. He smiled and walked to a window to watch the snowflakes fall.  Benedict loved how snow made everything look magical. He also loved the way that snow muted the sounds of the city. He frowned when his phone dinged, letting him know he had a message. Benedict took his phone out of his pocket. He looked at who the message was from and smiled fondly. Punching his password on his phone, Benedict prepared to text back.

“Hey, Benedict, I thought you weren’t going to answer any messages today.” A voice called out behind him.

Benedict ignored the speaker and texted back. “Merry X-mas Charlotte, Ben.”

Another voice piped up. “Come on Benedict, who is it?”

Benedict looked out at the falling snowflakes and could never make up his mind whether they were the magic dust from a Christmas Fairy, or the frozen tears of an angel. Maybe they were a little of both.

“Benedict, come on answer us.” A chorus of voices joked.

Benedict smiled and turned around. “You want to know who I am texting.”

A group of friends nodded in unison.

Benedict finished sending the message, and then answered. “The Nerd,” he said and turned around to continue watching the falling snowflakes.