Firefight outside the Blue Base.
Church: Okay, Tucker, I need you to get up there, help Caboose shore up the defense, establish a suppressing fire, and hold that position until further notice.
Tucker: I didn't even know what half of that meant.
Church: Just go over to Caboose's rock, and fire your gun a bunch.
Tucker: That rock? Yeah, I don't think so.
Church: We do not have time to discuss this.
Tucker: Sure, no time for you to discuss it. You get to hang out here with Nancy No-Bullets shootin' the breeze. Meanwhile, I'm out there, running around, eating a machine gun sandwich.
Church: Tucker, we're gonna give you covering fire.
Tucker: Covering fire? Unless that means you're gonna build a huge, bullet-proof wall between me and them, I think you needs to come up with a new plan. Preferably one that involves me keeping the same quantity of blood that I have right now.
Church: No problem. Oh wait wait, does the blood have to be in your body?
To Leo, Grif and Simmons firing their respective machine guns and rail gun at the Blues.
Grif: GGGGuuuuyyyysss... I-I can'tt ffeeel my handdds.
Simmons: Maybe you should lay off the trigger, you dumbass.
Leo: Have you even been trained to use a gun?
Grif: Do nerf guns count?
Leo: (Stares at Grif) Just keep shooting the base.
Back to Church.
Church: Alright you, Doc, get over there and help Caboose!
DuFresne: My name isn't Doc, it's DuFresne.
Church: Yeah. I can't pronounce that, so from now on, your name is Doc.
DuFresne: I'm not really comfortable with that. I'm not a doctor, I'm a medic.
Tucker: What's the difference?
DuFresne: Well, a doctor cures people. A medic just makes them more comfortable.. while they die.
Tucker: Mental note: don't ever get shot.
Church: It's settled then. Your name is now Doc.
DuFresne: Alright, but I don't think it'll stick.
Tucker: Oh, trust us, it'll stick.
Church: Now get over to Caboose, and help him hold that position.
Doc: I don't have a gun, I'm a pacifist.
Church: Well then just get over there and yell "bang bang bang".
Doc: Eh, I don't know. Even that sounds pretty aggressive.
Tucker: Oh, come on.
Doc: Besides, I'm not supposed to get involved unless someone gets hurt.
Church: Huh. I see.
Church turns toward Caboose and very deliberately raises his gun, then fires one shot.
Caboose: Ahow! My foot...
Church: Well, looks like Caboose has hurt himself. Maybe you should get over there and help him, Doc.
Doc: You know, you could have just asked nicely.
To the Reds.
Leo: Dammit I'm out! Hey Grif could you pass me a couple rounds?
Grif: Me? I don't have any extra. I'm down to one bullet.
Simmons: Wha- How can that be? You're the one who carries all the extra rounds in to battle.
Grif: Wait, since when?
Leo: Since the last staff meeting we had!
Grif: We actually talk about stuff in those things? I just fall asleep inside my helmet.
Simmons: Well, you missed your job assignment, and now we have no ammo.
Grif: What's your job?
Simmons: Me? I'm the Social Chairman.
Grif: Then what's your job Leo?
Leo: To make sure you don't do anything stupid.
Grif: Seriously!
Sarge: Grif. Me and Treasurer Donut are empty. We need some clips.
Simmons: Hey Grif, you remember that one bullet you have left? I thought of the perfect way you can use it.
Leo: Nice thinking Simmons.
To Doc and Caboose.
Doc: I'm here Caboose, where're you hit?
Caboose: Ah, ow, ow, ow, my foot, my foot!
Doc: The left foot?
Caboose: Ah, left. Let's see, that makes an L with this thumb and...
Doc: I'm just gonna assume it's the bleeding one.
Caboose: Yeah, the red one. Aeh. I can't believe Church shot me.
Church: Oh don't even start, Caboose! (echoing)
Doc: Anything else?
Caboose: Uh, well wha?
Doc: You have a bullet wound in the foot. Is anything else wrong?
Caboose: Uh... Oh, I got one. Uh, well, sometimes when I fall asleep at night I think about my parents having sex, and I get really really mad for some reason.
Doc: ...Okay I'm just gonna start with the foot.
Caboose: Okay.
To Tucker and Church.
Tucker: Hey dude, why aren't the Reds firing?
Church: I don't know, maybe they're outta ammo.
Sarge: Hey, Blues! We are giving you a chance to surrender!
Church: Surrender?
To the reds.
Leo: Sarge what the hell are you doing!?
Sarge: Don't worry Leo, it's all apart my master plan!
Leo: Ok then sir?
The End
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Red vs Blue Season 2: Male Oc
AdventureRvb Season 2, Are group of idiots have returned and what adventures will they drag Leo into? The Oc Leo is owned by Me Red vs Blue is owned by "Rooster Teeth"
