Survive// Reader × Carl Grimes

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It was too quiet, I stared into the darkness of the night waiting for something, waiting for a cry of some sort telling me that this was a dream and that my son was alive. I turn on my side and see that Carl was gone, I start to wonder where he is until I remember that I made him sleep downstairs. I sigh and hug the blanket tightly against my chest, feeling this hole in my chest making me let go of this wall I had built up to hide my feelings. I curl up the blanket even more letting my emotions flow.

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"Hey wait up!'' Rick says as Carl and I continue to walk off. "What does that mean?" I glance at Carl who looks annoyed by his father.

"What I said" he says "hope the guy makes it, it's not enough. If you give a shit-"

"Carl'' Rick warns him, I raise an eyebrow and look away feeling slightly akward.

"If you care, do something, you can't just hope. It takes more than that, that's what I meant"

"There's gonna be something once this fight is over"

"Not for everyone" Rick says and I sigh, I look at the two men before looking up to the cloudless sky, wiping away the sweat from my brow.

"Okay, yeah but, what about for you?" I hear Carl ask his father.

"Why are we doing this? Why are you fighting? So it isn't the way they want it? Everyone working for them? Everyone living for them? Or are we fighting for everyone to fight together, for something more than just killing other people?"

"Do you think we're gonna be out there picking strawberries with Negan?" Rick sasses back making me snicker.

"If that's what it takes. It's just more than hope; so what were just gonna kill all of them?" Carl asks as we approach a car, I rush up to it and check to see if it was unlocked.

"I'm doing this to keep our family safe, to keep Darick safe-" I hear Rick says as I open the door and stab the head of a weak walker before filling up the tank.

"Finding some way forward is harder, that's something more. That's how it's gotta be" Carl says making me shudder, I close the tank and get into the passenger seat. "Be safe" he gets into the driver seat and I study his face as he begins to drive.

"Who knew you where so...wise?" I say and he scoffs.

"I'm just tired of fighting" he grumbles, clenching onto the wheel, I put a hand on his thigh and he calms down.

"I am as well but soon this will all end" I say, he looks at me and pulls over looking at me.

"How do you know? What if this is still going on while he's old"

"He's already-"

"You know what I mean" he says scolding me, I smirk but know that this wasn't the time to mess around so I sigh and fix my posture, I put a hand on his cheek and he grasps my hand, placing a soft kiss on it.

"Somebody's gotta surrender some time but for right now, that's how it's gotta be" he kisses me and I can't help but smile. I press my forehead onto his before he presses another kiss on my lips and leaning the seat back so that I can get on his hips.

"I love you"

"I love you too" I whisper back. "Always"