Headaches and Bellamy Blake

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The number of times I've encountered death today does not change the feeling it envokes.

It is in moments like these where one's true nature is revealed. Scientists call it the' fight or flight' response, our survival instincts that flare when we are facing danger and just like that we lose all our respectable humane qualities, such as dignity and humility. We are demeaned to a rank lower than that of an animal; strictly speaking, the dropship had turned into a zoo in a matter of seconds.

As soon as we hit turbulence my heart constricted, where the hell was Finn? And why the hell haven't the retrorockets fired yet? After breaking through the atmosphere it takes roughly 4 minutes to hit the earth's surface, yet it seems as if we've been here for hours, the retrorockets should have already been decelerating the dropship's plummet, but they were not.

We have no choice but to crash-land.

"Finn! Are you okay?! Finn!" I yell, my lungs feel as though they have shrunk, unable to provide enough air for me. My eyes water with uncertainty. I am drowning in my own uselessness, worthlessness.

Then, all at once, we hit the earth's crust...hard. My previously pounding head feels weightless, is that a ringing in my ear?

''Listen. No machine hum'' noted Monty.

''Wow,'' Jasper exclaimed expressing his awe.

Monty, I knew him as the quiet farm boy who was recruited into engineering over a year ago, I was assigned to be his guide when he first joined, considering I was the only one there around his age. And Jasper? Well, Monty and Jasper were sort of a package deal.

With the stability of the dropship assured, all and everyone started unbuckling out of their seats and heading towards the lower levels of the dropship, seeking an exit, while I was seeking a Finn.

I found him on the floor, kneeling beside two lifeless bodies.

"Oh, Finn," I sighed, rushing over to kneel beside him and gently stroke his back.

"They followed me out, Stell, they're dead because of me," he shook his head as the horrid reality of his irresponsible actions dawned on him.

"Hey," I lifted his head by his chin causing him to meet my gaze, "the past is history, okay? We learn from our mistakes and move on, it's the choices that we make from this point on that matter."

Finn nodded in response, then he took a deep breath in and rubbed his face, as if he was trying to wake up from this nightmare we were living, he stood up, "alright, we should head down, see what's going on, right Stell?" he said smiling, trying to mask his vulnerability, trying to be brave for me...I hate when he does that.

"Right," I reply none the less.

We head down to the lowercase level of the dropship, Finn climbs down first leaving me for last. In the short period of our absence, the previously rambunctious crowd of criminals have miraculously achieved a hushed state. All attention seems to be exerted to the pair embracing in front of the exit, a man with his head buried into the crook of a girl's neck. "Seems like we just crashed a sentimental reunion", Finn blatantly deciphered.

The young girl is the first to pull away from...Crap.

"Pardon?" Finn conveyed a muddled look.

"Huh? I said that out loud?"

"Has solitary confinement permanently damaged you?" Finn teased with a familiarly gleam in his eyes.

"Shut up", I involuntarily grinned.

"Seriously, what's with the barbaric profanities?"

I rolled my eyes, realizing he was referring to my trivial outburst.

"Nothing. Just saw someone I used to know."

Bellamy Brainless Blake.

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