anacampserote » m.c au

six

kalina’s pov

I hesitantly knocked on Calum’s door. It was nine in the morning and chances were, he was still sleeping. I called him a few times the night before but to no avail, because he wouldn’t pick up. I had a gut feeling that he was avoiding me though I wasn’t sure why he would do so. If anything, I should be the one avoiding him because he lied about Michael. I had never gone to his place without telling him beforehand, so this was new. But I decided to go ahead anyway. It wasn’t as if his family would mind, they were too used to my company anyway.

As expected, he opened the door groggily. He rubbed his eyes and suppressed a yawn, letting the door ajar so as to let me in.

“God, you should really fold these clothes,” I bent down and picked up one – amongst many others - weird-smelling shirt off the floor, “On second thought, wash them first.”

He hummed, getting back into his covers. He stretched out his arms towards me, beckoning me to join him in bed. In other circumstances, without doubt would I have jumped at the chance and cuddled with him.

“No, I need to talk to you,” I spoke firmly, crossing my arms over my chest. The only time he would take me seriously was when I spoke with a firm tone.

He groaned and placed his pillow over his face. “Can’t we talk later? I’m still sleepy.”

I shook my head despite knowing that he couldn’t see me. “I wanna talk now. I’m serious, Calum.”

He sighed and got up into a seating position, glaring at me. “Okay, you got me.”

“Why did you lie to me about Michael?” I wasn’t in the mood to beat around the bush.

He looked flabbergasted for a moment, and then his features softened. Much to my annoyance, however, he refused to speak. He simply hung his head low and gripped the sides of his bed. “You went to see him.”

“Yes,” I shot, then remembered that I didn’t come to Michael’s place to specifically look for him, “Well, no. But this isn’t about me. I want to know what perfectly good reason you have that could justify your action.”

“I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell you,” he shrugged.

“Lying by omission is still lying,” I raised my voice.

“You’re right,” He nodded and looked up to meet my eyes, “I’m a possessive dick. I’m sorry, Kal.”

“How long have you known?” I asked, bracing myself for the answer. My arms were still crossed because I was the kind of person who placed importance on body language. I needed him to know I was serious. Not that he didn’t already, but it seemed more enforced this way.

“Ever since he woke up,” he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. Clasping his hands together, he looked at me with so much remorse that I almost wanted to kiss him and pretend all of this never happened. “His mum kept in contact with my parents for a while. You asked me why I was being weird in the car on the way to the party. That was why. I didn’t think he’d be there since he’d been spending time in college but my parents texted me immediately as soon as they saw him because they know how much I’d resent you being close to him.”

And then I realized I wasn’t mad. I was more disappointed at the fact that Calum didn’t think I deserved the truth, no matter that it was to save his heart. To save me from being someone else’s.

“I don’t know why you’re so afraid of me reconnecting with Michael. I don’t get it, Cal,” I paused, “Are you doubting my loyalty?” I knew he was going to deny it, but I couldn’t help the part of me that was afraid. What if that was the truth?

“You know that’s not it,” he said, and I almost breathed out a sigh of relief. He scratched the back of his neck, sighing, “It’s just that… I watched the girl I love grew up to fall head over heels with my best friend. Or ex-best friend. Granted, I wasn’t with you guys when you all lovey-dovey in high school, but I always knew that you were going to end up with him. It was as if you guys were the main act and I was just helplessly working behind the scenes. It was always Michael and Kalina, even before we grew up as teenagers. Did you remember that time you and Kael had summer cold when we were ten? Michael and I went to the ice cream parlour and the guy went to ask Michael where his girlfriend was. I stood there, wishing you liked me instead of him. Call it puppy love, or puppy jealousy, but whatever.”

I gulped. I knew that the both of them had crushes on me ever since we were kids, but I never knew how sequestered Calum felt being with us. I guessed we never paid attention to the ones we didn’t love. Or didn’t think we loved. And that was exactly the puppy love I was involved in – one that stopped me from caring about anyone besides Michael. It got better once we grew up, of course, but the wound was still there, as Calum said.

He continued, “And now that I completely have you, I just want to eradicate anything that can take you away from me. There’s always this fear that one day you’d return to him.”

I sat down next to him, utterly perplexed. I took a moment or two to think things through and then intertwined our hands together. “Hey, look at me. I’m right here with you. If I were still loved him, would I be talking to you right now?”

He nodded solemnly, tracing my knuckles and bringing my hand up to his lips.

“I don’t look at him the way I look at you, Cal. I love you. Michael’s my past, but you,” I jabbed at his chest, “You are my going to be my last and my every and my always.”

He looked at me so endearingly and cracked a smile. “I love you so much.”

He leaned in to kiss me but I pulled back. “I mean it. I don’t want you being jealous of Michael and I anymore. We’re history. Like, I’ll even have dinner with him with you watching us the whole time just to convince you that there is nothing going on – or that will be going on – between us.”

“Okay, let’s do it,” he kissed the tip of my nose and pulled me closer to him, breathing softly. He said it with so much enthusiasm that if I hadn’t known better, I would have thought that they were still on good terms.

“I was actually kidding, but okay. Anything for you,” I rolled my eyes then laughed as he kept staring at me.

“I really do love you. A lot. I hope you know that,” he mumbled against my hair. I do. Oh, I do.

“I love you too. But for now,” I unlatched his arm that was around me and stood up, “I’m going to Michael’s place to invite him for dinner.”

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eh kind of a filler but v v impt