All behind us now... (on hold)

Reliving stupidity

Tyler

The talk Cassie and I had during the ride home that night was surprisingly comfortable. It almost felt like how we talk before, before everything else between us turned sour. You see, Cassie and I practically grew-up together.

Our parents are friends and neighbors as well. We were schoolmates since prep school and had the same set of friends till highschool.

And because of these circumstances it was common and almost natural for us to fall for each other, that's how it works right? Everybody in mine and her family expected us to end up marrying each other, even our friends at school rooted for us. Well, almost all. There were some who was against it, like Serena and some of her minions who followed me around like a lost puppy. And then there was the half of the male population of our highschool who seemed to be smitten by Cassie's angelic beauty. 

Cassie is a smart girl. Always a top student in our class. She's a sports enthusiast, she's friendly with everybody (except with Serena and her minions). She doesn't care about the stupid school student food chain and tries to befriend even the school janitors. Who wouldn't fall for someone like that? It's almost impossible not to fall in love with her.

I make it sound like her and everything about us  was perfect, right? Well it was. Everything was perfect until I decided to be an asshole and ruined everything good and beautiful between us.

It all started when I made some new guy friends right after highschool graduation. They were all players as in manwhores. They would always call me up to hang out or go clubbing but I would usually turn them down because I'd rather be with Cassie all the time. When my older brother Travis heard about it he told me that I've been missing a lot and I should start having fun without Cassie around. He told me that since Cassie was my first girlfriend and everybody knows that she's been saving her self till marriage- he knows that I wasn't getting any. He told me that maybe it would be a good idea to cool off with Cassie for a while in order to get some action with other girls since I don't have the guts to cheat on my girlfriend. I , being stupid and all, thought it was a good idea and went along with it. Me and my stupid brother thought that it could go on for only a month and then get back together with Cassie before the summer ends.He even told me that Cassie wouldn't find out about it because she will be spending a month-long summer vacation at her grand parents in Canada while I'll spend a month in New York with Travis. Sounds like a full proof plan right? But I was wrong...

If only I had known what would happen after that night - I would have not done what I did and everything in my life would have been perfect.

I remember every single detail vividly...

It was like a week after graduation and mine and her family were having a barbeque at my house - it was a weekly tradition between our parents eversince they all became friends back in highschool. 

I have a vivid memory of everything. Just like in the movies - bit by bit, scene by scene, every pain...

Cassie and I were in the middle of goofing around at the poolside when my brother Travis called me to talk, I excused myself from Cassie and followed Travis to the den...

" When are you going to tell her Tyler?"

" I don't know Trav, it seems wrong you know..."

I've been thinking about it for sometime now but It seems that I can't bring myself to do it. I'm so in love with Cassie and I'm not sure that an experience messing around with other girls for the summer will be worth breaking up with her even for a while. That's just like playing with her feelings...

" Yes it is, but she wouldn't find out anyway. Just come up with something- like a petty quarrel - then you can use that as an excuse to breakup with her."

" I'm not sure about this Travis. I do want to experience those things but I don't think it would be worth the misery I'll be inflicting Cassie... I don't want to hurt her in anyway..."

" Just break up with her already, you're too young to be tied up to one girl who we all know doesn't put out for you..."

Sometimes I think Travis is just an asshole who knows nothing about love and feelings... all he cares about is getting laid. So to get him off my back I resort to just saying what he wanted to hear...

" Fine, I'll tell her tonight..." I turned around and just when I was about to leave the room I heard a very soft and familiar voice say...

" There's no need... I've heard enough"

There standing at the door is a very sad Cassie...

" Cassie..." I was so stunned that I didn't know what to say. She looks so sad and her eyes were holding back tears. I wanted to tell her that she heard wrong but I know what I said and how bad it sounded like. I started to walk towards her while trying to think how on earth would I explain to her what just happened but before I even reached her she took a step back and put her right hand up gesturing me to stop...

" Please don't.."

After that she turned around and hurriedly run out of the house. I didn't ran after her knowing that she needed sometime on her own. Whenever we argue or fight about something she usually wanted to be alone for a day to think things over. She doesn't want to talk right away while she's still emotional because according to her she couldn't think straight and were more likely to end up with much worse argument and not make up.

If only I knew that that was the last time I would be seeing her...