Coming Home

Chapter 19

I haven't felt a raw emotion like this for a long time. I stared at the door, where he had walked away what seemed like only a moment ago. I put my finger on my lips where his kiss still lingered. My heart ached. 'Why did he just kiss me?'

I was filled with a strange sense of anger. 'What the hell...' I roughly pushed the cigarette on the ash tray. I couldn't let this get to me. There was a show tonight.

I forced a smile as the boys came back up in laughter. "Had fun?"

"Yeah it is mad out there," Liam said.

I noticed Niall looking at me, making me think back to the kiss. It was only a moment; it was only one second. But his lips were definitely pressed against mine in such a strong manner, as if screaming out "I want you."

His kiss was like a needle that came out of nowhere and popped my heart, slowly draining out the emotions I had held in for so long, bringing back all the memories.

But right now I didn't have time for this foolish feelings. We had a show tonight. Then we were heading back to London for our last 3 shows.

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The sky was gloomy the next morning, reflecting on my feelings as I woke up with my chest heavy.

We all ran into the tour bus, escaping from the wave of screams, to take a road trip to London.

The bus was an absolute mess; they all blamed Louis and Niall for it. I ran away from the messy bunks and took the sofa to relax myself before tonight's show. I wasn't nervous anymore; as the days passed I began to feel more confident about my voice. I flicked on the TV as the bus moved, starting on the quick 2 hour drive.

After about an hour of unusually quiet rest, the door slid open and Louis ran into the room laughing.

"It's worse than my feet!" He exclaimed as he looked back towards the front of the bus. He continued to chuckle as he walked to the fridge and grabbed a can of soda.

"Nervous?" He asked as he sat next to me.

I smiled back. "Not really," I said, but I knew he saw way past the surface. "Really," I tried to assure him as he stared at me, waiting for something more.

"Well you look very happy then," he said sarcastically as he took a drink.

I couldn't help but to smile as he smiled. "I know right?" I sighed. "It's just people problem..." I said as I shook my head. "One of those things y'know?"

"Yeah I understand," he gave me a genuine smile. "Hey um," he looked down at the can as he licked his lips, "What ever happened between you and Zayn?"

A laugh escaped from me as he asked. I wasn't laughing at him; I was laughing at myself for not knowing the answer. "I don't really know," I replied," I mean it-"

The door opened and Niall walked in while talking with someone on the phone. He glanced at us as he walked past to get some food. My eyes were glued on him as I was overwhelmed by the urge to hold him.

"Sorry babe what were you saying?" Louis looked back at me.

"Um," I tried to go back to the conversation. "We weren't really serious or anything..." My eyes trailed back to Niall as he got off the phone and sat in front of us with a bottle of water.

"You guys were y'know...together..." He smiled a cheeky grin, hinting to something else: sex.

I laughed nervously as I glanced at Niall, who wore an uneasy smile. "He always talked about you," he said as he gave me a look.

I couldn't understand what he wanted to get at. "Oh really?" That was all I could say.

Louis suddenly stood up and walked out of the room, leaving me and Niall in this very awkward situation.

He played with the water bottle as I tried to think of something to say. "Why did you hook up with him?" His accusing tone of voice was beginning to irritate me as he spoke.

"It's none of your business."

He stared at me for a moment before sitting up. "Alright," he said. He was getting irritated as well. "It's not like we had anything," he spoke, emphasizing 'we.'

"Wait what?" I raised my voice; he was being such a child. He just looked away as he took a sip. 'What is he saying?' "You're the one to say."

He raised an eyebrow, probably questioning my bitter attitude. "Say what?"

'Why was he playing dumb?' I let out a sigh in frustration. "Why are you acting like this?" He laughed sarcastically, sending me to the edge of the cliff as if all the emotions I had built up had finally reached the top.

"Y'know what Niall?!" I ignored the surprised look on his face. "I couldn't wait for you to get back. I was so excited when I you came back. But no, you already hooked up with some dirty blonde chick and acted like I didn't ex-"

"The fuck Ellie!" He cut me off, raising his voice as well. "You decided to sleep with my best friend when I was gone!"

"What?!"

"It didn't take you long either. Not even a week!"

"I DIDN'T sleep with anyone! What the hell?!" I pushed myself up and walked to the door. "And for the record," I stopped as I opened the door, "I did like you Niall. I seriously did."

~Niall's POV~ 

"I'm sorry mate." Liam sat down next to meas he patted my back. He looked at me worriedly as I smiled at him.

I was angry, but I was relieved to finally get it off my chest.... I honestly don't know how I felt anymore.