Chapter 1: Dreams of an Insomniac

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It had been months since you had last seen her. Not an hour went by that your thoughts didn't turn to Jasper, to how much you loved her, to how much you missed her. You missed her strong arms around you every night, making you feel safe and loved and warding off nightmares. You missed competing with her for the affection of Pinky, your Rottweiler whom Jasper had named after Pink Diamond. You missed catching her at least once a day staring at you, looking like she was falling in love for the very first time.

She wasn't the only one absent, either. Some time ago, Lapis had taken the entire barn and fled for fear that Blue Diamond would soon invade Earth. Where she went, no one knew, and Peridot had understandably become deeply depressed.

Not everything was bad. After their falling out, Steven and Connie had reconciled, and Lars was doing his space pirate thing. Life carried on. Still, there were times when it wasn't easy. Sometimes you would witness a rare bird or a particularly beautiful sunset, and would lament that Jasper wasn't there to share the moment with you. And worst of all were the dreams. They weren't nightmares. That would've been too easy. No, they were the best dreams you'd ever had. Dreams of her. Dreams of the two of you. Not even anything dramatic, most nights. Sometimes you just dreamt that you were lying in bed while she slept beside you. You felt so happy, so peaceful, until panic set in as the dream began to fade, and you gave every bit of your strength to try to keep from waking up. But you always did, and then you were lying alone in the darkness, surrounded only by the crushing emptiness.

Sometimes, when you woke up, you would keep your eyes closed, so that some naïve and hopeful part of you could believe she was still beside you as long as you didn't see that she wasn't.

"Jasper?" you would whisper into the darkness. Then, before enough time could pass to be absolutely positive that no one was there to respond, you would add, "I love you."

Then came the night when you had a very different dream. You stood in the Beta Kindergarten, although it was dark and grey like the Prime Kindergarten, and the ground was literally covered with gem shards. Stooping to inspect them, you saw that they had all been jaspers. The scene was, unfortunately, very familiar. Jasper, partly corrupted, knelt in a crater of her own making, Steven, Amethyst, and Peridot standing near, except the latter three weren't moving. They were just standing expressionless and silent like statues while Jasper continued to repeat her familiar lines.

" I see how you do it now Rose, you want Gems after they're worthless, you wait until after they've lost, because when you're at the bottom, you'll follow anyone. That makes you feel like less of a failure. Hah! Just look at this one! You've stripped her of everything! Her limb enhancers, her status, her dignity."

Silence. You strode over to her, gem shards like gravel shifting beneath your feet.

"That's just it. You're not worthless. Not to them, and never to me. And yes, yes, please, look at Peridot! She may have lost a lot, but look how much she's found!"

"How can you side with Rose Quartz?! Why? Why protect this useless shell of a planet?"

"You mean your Diamond's only colony, the last bit of her legacy, and the place you were made. I know it hurts you. The memories this place brings." You knelt and placed a hand carefully on her spiky shoulder. "All these years, trying to carry all that pain. Don't blame yourself. No one could do it. But you're strong. So what about just half of it? Let me share your pain. You don't have to be alone."

"Earth is a prison. I got out because I'm better than this place."

"There was a time long ago when you didn't think of Earth that way. In fact, I remember a time not long ago at all when you proudly called it home."

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