Crystal Clear Part 2: Familiar Faces (Jasper x Reader)

Chapter 7: Old Friends

"Jasper, I love you. That won't change in a hundred years. Not in a thousand. Not in a million. And not today. Whatever you've done in the past, I love you for who you are now. Besides, I'm beginning to suspect I did something far worse than anything you could ever have done... long before we met... before I was Jaspilite. Long story, still don't have many details. But whatever happened, whatever you did, you can tell me anything. I would never dream of judging you."

"I know. I do trust you, it just isn't something I'd ever considered talking about. I hadn't planned on even thinking about it again. Because I trust you, I'll tell you. Valoccar was a planet in a system not far from here. It was going to be a new colony of Blue Diamond, but when the rebellion broke out on Earth, many of the gems on Valoccar were inspired to start a resistance of their own, along with the native lifeforms. There's not much to say about it. They won. After my Diamond was shattered, I was shipped there with the rest of my squad... I don't suppose you'd remember them? The green one, the one who didn't talk, and the psychopathic one, and that's even by my standards."

"Not ringing a bell, sorry," you shrugged.

"You might not have met them, I just wasn't sure. So anyway, Homeworld hit the planet with everything they had. Their full military might. We stood against them, shattered millions. My failure to protect my Diamond had opened a dark side of me which even Lapis has never seen. I lived to kill. That was all I did. And I enjoyed it. I loved storming into fortresses and houses alike, finding all gems who weren't fighting for us, even if they weren't fighting at all, and feeling them crunch under my boot. In all, I single-handedly shattered 23,496 gems. I remember the face of each one. The look in their eyes when they realised it was all over. When they were taken prisoner, I even shattered the members of my squad. You've been inside of my mind. You know what the memories I live with are like. Wading through the remains of gems crushed into such fine pieces that it's like walking through sand. Thousands and thousands and thousands of screams of pain and of horror and of death, mixing together until I can't even tell them apart. That's what's in my dreams every night." She paused and smiled faintly. "Except when I'm with you. There's not much else to tell, really. We shattered millions, but the Valoccaran Rebellion was more than just gems. They fought alongside all the races and civilisations who lived there. We couldn't do it. So the Diamonds gave up. That's it."

"Five thousand years is a long time. I don't imagine any organic being is still alive who would remember that war. We all have parts of the past we do our best to forget."

"I can't. Our minds don't work that way. Things don't fade or become forgotten as time goes on. I don't have to keep count of how many died by my hands, because those lives being snuffed out isn't some ancient story to me. It's as if it happened a week ago. Yesterday. This morning. It's all the same. All just as clear."

"But it couldn't have happened a week ago or yesterday or this morning. Because that wasn't you. Times change, and so do we. Look at how far you've come. There used to be a gem who wore your face and carried your name, who killed thousands, even allies, someone who had nothing left to live for so lived only for death, whose only loyalties were shattered years before. A killer. A monster. But right now, I'm looking at someone courageous, honourable, gentle, compassionate, and loyal to the very end. You've come a long way since that unspeakable past. Don't run from that. Wear it always as a badge of honour, and never wish you could change those events which led you here. You're a hero now, and you're the love of my life returned to me after all these years."

"Thank you (Y/N). You have a gift for making me feel better about myself. But what's going to happen with Valoccar? What if the survivors are coming to look for revenge? I wouldn't be able to stand against them. I couldn't live through it all again."