The Fat Program

Chapter 6

Now that we’re adults, I don’t have to worry about not understanding my emotions anymore, I know what love is. I almost fell in love once when she left. It was a girl in my junior class, Kassidy. She was beautiful and breath taking, but she lacked things that Janey had. She was skinny yes, and Janey was a little big around the edges, she was kind and understanding, but she just didn’t hold a place in her heart for me. She pretty much used me for her own advantages.

Sure I make her sound all good and stuff, and then make her sound like a total bitch, but that’s how it was. One day we were totally in love, then the next she said, and I quote, “I found someone who appreciates me more, who actually cares if I’m at a party without him.” I didn’t understand the party part, but what the heck? I don’t need her anymore anyways.  She only broke my heart. But now that she’s gone I realize what I’ve needed for so long. When I saw Janey again, I knew that she was that missing link for me.

My heart fluttered a beat at the thought of her being mine. I would have her one day, but not today. For now I’ll just try to get her to trust me. I never had any, so there’s none to gain back, but I can tell that she’s forgiven me somewhat, so now’s my chance to make things better between us. And one way to that is by explaining what her aunt wants with her now, and how I know what’s insider that letter.

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It’s been two days since I saw her. The last time we talked was the only time we’ve ever talked since her departure. I haven’t seen a glimpse of her either.

Ever since she left, I’ve been going downhill. I try not to think of her, but it’s hard to not think of someone you care about deeply. Gosh, I sound like a girl all mushy and stuff over some crap like ‘love.’ But it’s true, I don’t sleep well at night because I think about all the bullying I’ve done to her, and then I think about her aunt’s letter.

Gosh the letter.  

The letter has to do with about almost everything going on right now, all the problems with her aunt and what’s going to happen if they continue.

I need to check on Janey sometime soon. I’ve tried, I really have. But every time I knock on her door, she’s either not hoe or she just doesn’t want to talk to me yet. I bang on her door every day, at least three or four times. I yell through it, asking if she’s there or not. But she never answers if she is.

I don’t think she wants to talk to me right now or for a while either. She’s just not ready to listen to me yet, but I wouldn’t blame her, my apology wasn’t even that good. It probably didn’t even sound sincere. With my looks and how I act, you can’t tell if I’m lying or being serious. That’s one of the many faults I have, and one of the reasons girls can’t stay with me for long. But why am I bringing other girls into this? Oh well, I guess I’m getting lonely.

I haven’t dated anyone for at least six months. But that’s not the point.

Earlier today I ran out of ice so I have to go to the ice machine to get some. I brought a large cup with me that way if I needed a lot I could get as much as I need. I made my way around the corner, only to see a flash of someone's shirt run around it. Was, was that..... Not It couldn't be.....Wait, was that Janey?!?

I dashed around the edge of the corner, missing it by centimeters, only to see a speed walking Janey trying to the stairs whcich were in the other direction.

Not waisting anytime I called out, "There you are Janet!"

As soon as she heard my words she froze in her spot. Not turning around she asked, "Yea?"

Disappointment filled my voice when I realized she didn't want to look at me, but I manned up and controlled it better when I asked, "Umm, can I talk to you face to face or am I going to have to talk to your back?"