REDS || LIVERPOOL FC'S IMAGINES

Broken Vow - Loris Karius

“Tell me her name again?”  I tried hard not to burst my tears in front of Loris, the men I’ve married for almost four years.

“Clarisse.” He answered like it was nothing, and all I can do is just gulped and nodded.

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Loris and I were married for almost four years. Our marriage life weren’t always sunshine and rainbow, but I was sure that we’re happy despite all uncertainty showed by our families because we were just too young when we decided to take our relationship further. He was twenty and I was eighteen, fresh graduate from secondary school when we got married.

But well, love always wins against logic and sanity, right? That’s why I said I do when he asked me to marry him. Furthermore, we were just wanted to proof to our families that we weren’t just some young and dumb couple who always make a rush decision, too drunk in love with only followed our lust and our ego.

It was like ‘us against the world.’ We wanted the world to see us that we could be responsible, that we could live our marriage life in the very young age. To always love each other and to be together till death do us part. No one would dare to underestimate our marriage.

But then couple years again, here I am, try hard to collected all of my sanity when my marriage were ended in my very eyes.

I guess ‘happily ever after’ is only in the movie.

I remembered when the first time we were became husband and wife. I couldn’t even describe it how our relationship was. It was magical, sweet, romantic, tempting, intimate, and all beautiful thing you could only imagine happened to the other newlywed couple. We were so in love. We shared everything, every story, every embarrassing moment, tears, laughs and so many more.

And it’s been a while since we shared anything together, I guess now I know the reason, maybe he found someone else to share his tears and laughs. Sadly it wasn’t me anymore.

I could feel it in my bone that our relationship wasn’t worked like it used to be since a year ago. We were just getting colder and distant. He changed, and I could noticed it from the smallest details we used to do together like cuddling on the couch in rainy days, light conversation, pillow talk before bedtime, holding hand, all of it weren’t barely happened.

I was scared, but I didn’t even think the worst of it, I just thought he needed some space to rest.

And six months later, Loris even barely home, I knew he was busy with Liverpool. Their performance in the Champions League is very brilliant with the consequences that Loris often went aboard for couple days and he’d be home, all sweaty and exhausted, too exhausted to even say a word to me.

Until this day, when he said that he wanted us to getting divorce, to broke our vow. And when I asked him why? He said he’s in love with someone else.

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I was sit on the pantry alone in our apartment, opened a bottle of whiskey which I drank from the bottle reminiscing that my marriage life is come to an end.

The fact that Loris has been cheating on me all this time is the one that hurt me so bad. Eventually, I know the reasons behind his absence by my side. The cold night I spent alone here while he probably was there, lying next to other woman while I still believe that I was his and he was mine.

He wasn’t mine anymore. His heart wasn’t belonged to me anymore.

Other truth is, I still love him, very much till it felt hurt.

I burst to cry.

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“Tell me.” I said one day when he came home to took his training attire, and my two little words apparently could stop him. “Why we become like this?”

He stared to the floor, maybe thinking about all words he wanted to say to me right now. “I don’t know.” He breathed out. “I just thought that I don’t feel the same about you, about us.”

I gulped and nodded several times. “Is she loves you?”

“Yes.” He shortly answered.

“And you feel it too?” I asked again, left confusion drew over his face. “Heart beats, all the feeling we used to feel.”

“Jules, please.”

“ANSWER ME!” I snapped before took a deep breath and released it. “Just answer me.” I added, slower and calmer.

His eyes rested on me, those strange eyes which make me painfully realize wasn’t staring at me the way they used to be. Maybe all his feeling on me was long gone. “Yes.” He sighed.

I bit my lips. “You know, Loris? I could just throw my wrath on you, to beat you or anything that could make me satisfied because you’re broke my faith, our vow our love.” I hoarsely said the last few words. “But I know it would be useless because it won’t make you come back to me, right?”

“Jules, I’m so sorry.”

“You should be.” I cut off. “If you’re in my position right now, would you forgive me?” the tears streamed down my cheek. I sobbed.

I glanced to Loris who moved a little from his position but like immediately stopped himself to do anything to get to me. Something was like, stopped him to get to me. There’s no love left for me right, Loris? Not even little for your wife?

“Anything would never change your mind to be with her, right?” I sniffed. “Go.” I said weakly.

Half of me was expecting that my words will hold him to walked away, make him stay a little longer. But I know immediately it was an empty word when he started to walk away like he hasn’t even had intention to turn back.

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Inspired by Lara Fabian's Broken Vow

I know this is crap, but I need to post it or my head will explode😂