Do Us Apart | Sawamura Daichi

Broken |06|

Sawamura Daichi
Day 28

I stand with (F/n) at the door to our room. She sits in my arms, ready to be carried to the front door. I will myself to move forward, but it seems I can't. (F/n) has gotten so thin that it's scaring me. She taps my shoulder and weakly asks me what's wrong. I shake my head and begin to move forward. I hold her to me tightly.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry (F/n)." I say to her, though she looks at me with confusion. I set her down at the front door and go to my car. I know what I have to do now.

I drive to my workplace and run to Yui's office. I throw open the door and she jumps in shock.

"I'm sorry Yui, but I don't want to divorce my wife anymore. I have realized over the month that I am still deeply in love with her, and I just gave up on our marriage. I carried her into our house the day I married her, and I'm supposed to carry her until the day one of us die." I say clearly. She looks shocked and I close her door and run back to my car. Pulling out of the lot, I drive straight to the flower shop. Picking up a bouquet of her favorite flower, I pay for them and race home.

"I'm home!" I yell, but I get no response. I race towards our bedroom and throw open the door, a huge smile on my face. (F/n) lays on the bed, deep in sleep. I shake her gently, but she doesn't rise. I frown in worry and shake her harder, but nothing. Her breathing is unhealthily shallow, and I check her pulse. Nothing, and then a little flutter. I panic and fumble for my phone. Dialing 911, I pick my wife up and race downstairs. The ambulance pulls up within minutes, and they race us to the hospital.

After measuring her pulse and determining she is just barely alive they rush her to intensive care. A doctor sits with me and pulls up her medical records, and my phone clatters to the ground.

Stage 4 Breast Cancer

I begin to shake, and the doctor looks at me surprised. I beg him to do whatever they can, and he replies calmly that they are doing all they can at the moment. A nurse rushes to me with stacks of papers, quickly explaining that they need signatures if they are to do an emergency surgery. After signing the papers I quickly call my son and tell him that (F/n) and I just went to visit family, so don't worry.

"Tell mom I said hi and I love her!" He says happily before hanging up. I squeeze my phone harshly before dropping my arm to my side. All I could do was wait they said. The red button saying surgery glows eerily, and I shake with the effort to fight the tears. My phone buzzes and buzzes, coming through with calls from Yui. I put my phone on silent and throw it into the chair next to me. My wife has cancer. (F/n) has cancer. My beautiful, loving, sweet (F/n) has cancer and I had no idea. I had no idea because I abandoned her. I couldn't even pay attention to the god damn signs! I pull at my hair and wait for them to be done. Hours upon hours go by, and finally a doctor emerges. I jump to my feet and rush up to him.

"Is she ok? Is my wife ok?" I ask loudly. The doctor looks down and takes a deep breath.

"We have removed the breast that had cancer. She had known she had cancer prior, and she knew the chemo wasn't working. She was scheduled for a surgery at the beginning of this month, but she never came. The surgery was a success, and she should wake up in a bit. She is almost cancer free, she just needs a few more rounds of chemo. She will be will be in a lot of pain. That is all." The doctor says. He walks past me, though I pay him no mind. She had known this whole time and didn't tell me. She had a surgery at the beginning of this month and didn't show up? Why didn't she show up? I rush into the room and see her laying on the bed asleep. I touch the top of her head, and she opens her eyes slowly.

"What happened..." She asks drowsily. My eyes fill with tears, and I drop to my knees next to her.

"You almost died (F/n). You didn't show up for your surgery to remove the cancer, and you almost died." I say, choking on my tears.

"So you know about the cancer now..." She says quietly.

"That's not what matters! Why didn't you show up to the surgery?" I ask.

"The day I was going to go in for the surgery was the day after you told me you wanted a divorce. I didn't go in nor did I tell you I had cancer because I didn't want to pressure you into staying with me." You say quietly, holding onto the covers tightly. I choke on my tears. It was because of me she almost died. I grab her hand and pull her towards me.

"I am so sorry (F/n). I love you so much, and I'm sorry it took all of this for me to finally find my love for you again. It was never gone, it was just lost. I thank you so much for helping me find it again. You are the most beautiful person I know. It doesn't matter if you're sick, healthy, hell, it doesn't matter if you don't love me. I will always love you, and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that." I say, squeezing her hand. Her eyes fill with tears and she pulls me towards her.

"Even if I have no boobs because of the cancer?" She sniffles, and I hold her tighter to me.

"I would love you even if you were missing an eye or a nose." I say quietly. She starts crying loudly, and suddenly everything is complete again.