His Queen

Chapter 12 : Choices

Ali ( Onalee ) Point Of View :

I remember the feeling of his skin against mine. The way fireworks erupted across my flesh as his rough calloused hands stroked my back. The way he looked into my eyes as if he was a dying man. The emotions that swam in the depths of his face.

Then he was gone.

I felt so lost. I was confused by Rhysand. He was jealous and then he was cruel, then sorrowful, followed by closed off. I couldn't figure him out.

For many hours I sat there contemplating this whole experience. First off he hurts me, then he feels bad for me, he hurts me again and feels bad for me and then he runs off. Wow isn't my life fun?

I can't find it in myself to hate him. Some part of me believes that he is who he is for a reason. That maybe he was once the caring man that I always dreamed my mate would be. The wolf side of me was falling more in love with him by the second telling me that he must have been hurt in the past. She claims that we should try and help him but I don't see any point in that. One of these times things are going to go to far and I won't be around anymore. It's only a matter of time. I truly don't believe that Rhysand means to be such an asshole, it's just all he knows to be.

As time passes I shift my body into a more comfortable position cause a slight ache in my almost healed back. The lashes have mostly healed by now and since the whip wasn't coated in wolfsbane it shouldn't leave any scars. I knew that Rhysand could have hurt me much more then he had but I was thankful that I hadn't seen the full extent of his wrath.

Soon I found myself dozing off as my body tried to conserve my dwindling energy. These days I seemed to only feel awake when Rhysand was around. When ever he left I suddenly started to shutdown, losing any life I had once had. Being locked up for days on end without much food can do that to a person despite what some may think.

I'm slowly loosing all my life. My body refuses to fight anymore and, no matter how much I think of my family's death, I can't seem to motivate myself. My wolf has become a whiny bitch about Rhysand all day long and she refuses to think about leaving him behind to get our revenge. She fights against my every thought, pushing me to the brink.

Sometime later the door to my cell opens and I shoot a tired glance at the door. Please let it be Ezra. I need to talk to someone. I'm slowly going crazy. At least when I was captured by Ren I could count on daily 'excitement'.

'Please let it be Rhysand.' My wolf says with excitement and I almost groan as the smell that is uniquely Rhysand wafts in.

What could he possibly want?

Immediately when he walks in I notice something is different about him. His eyes are empty, his skin almonds looks grey, and his hair is a sexy mess. He looks at me with this pleading gaze and he walks swiftly over to me.

I soak up the feeling of him standing so close to me. I savor the heat that his body emits and the slight whisper of breath that fans across my face as he comes to a stop less then a foot away from me. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I push  my practically chanting wolf away. Being so close to him starts to awaken my body making my legs feel less numb and 'other' parts of me start to perk up.

For a few moments we stand their. Me with my eyes squinted shut and Rhysand doing Goddess knows what. He makes no move to touch me, hurt or harm me. He seems to be content just standing near me and, despite my protests, my body likes it too.

"Open your eyes, Onalee." Rhysand says finally in a soft voice.

My wolf purs in pleasure at the sound of our name coming out of his mouth. The way it rolls out like a chord on the piano. I want to listen to him and I almost do, but Rhysand doesn't not get to use his mate effect on me.