His Queen

Chapter 19 : Awaken

It's been two weeks.

It's been fourteen days.

It's been 336 hours.

That's how long since I last saw Rhysand storm away from me after I woke up on the beach. Rocks poking into my back and sand clustered in my hair. He left me. Wet and cold and alone. Sun beating down on my body. He left me. Stunned and weak listening to the waves crash against the rocks as my heart raced in my chest. He left me.

Eventually the shock wore off and I just lay there starring up into the sky watching the seagulls swoop in and out of my vision.

Everything is blurry. Everything that happened is slowly coming back in bits and pieces. My heart thuds loudly as I relive every moment.

Thud.

I'm swimming under the water. It slides over my skin. I should probably go up for air soon.

Thud.

I see a dark figure to my left.

Thud.

My head hits a rock that came out of nowhere.

Thud.

Everything hurts as I blackout.

Thud.

Arms grab me out of the oceans grasp and pull me up to the surface.

Thud.

Tremors run through my body at the persons touch.

Thud.

We reach the shore and I am laid down. I can't breathe. My chest won't rise, lungs filled with salt water.

Thud.

I feel his lips on mine, giving me air, giving me life.

Thud.

My eyes open. I coughed up water.

Thud.

Rhysand yells and leaves me.

Thud.

Here I am again. My head seems to be floating in some faraway place. Everything thing seems fuzzy at the moment. I go through the motions of each day. I get up, train with Ash, come home, help Maya with chores, eat dinner, sleep. It's this constant circle with no end. I put on the facade of being content, happy, if you will. Inside I am a wreak. My wolf seems to be fading away the more time I spend from Rhysand, taking me bit by bit along with. For once I feel totally and completely lost. It's as if I'm a traveler that has lost her direction of north.

Everyday is the same. It's as if I am missing something. The last important piece to the puzzle. I can't seem to figure out why Rhysand saved me only to leave me. He is hard to figure out. He is different then anyone I have ever met. These days I push him to the back of my mind. I make sure he is only an afterthought and nothing more, because if I dwell then I fall. I fall into the doubt and fear that I'm this horrible mate that Rhysand wants nothing to do with. That I'm this parasite he is forced to deal with. It's my one big insecurity.

However absent my mind is my body is not. My muscles are returning, my strength has drastically improved. All the hours of running and sparing with Ash has paid off. It hurts to say that I'm not sure what I would do without her. She has become the closest thing to a best friend I've ever had. No matter how much we argue and gripe with each other in the end she is the string that tethers me to this reality.

Ash forces me to focus all my guilt and anger into my training, teaching me techniques that I've never even heard of. She truly is a wonder to spar with, using every ounce of her speed and size to her advantage. Everything evening she joins me and Maya for dinner. At first it was difficult to get used too. Maya would chat up a storm and Ash would nod while eating food, while I would sit there looking between the two of them. It was hard for me to form an idea of their relationship with one another, were they friends, enemies? They didn't seem too close but I never picked up any hostile vibes.