lavender curses

Memories

 My throat burns

As drops of whiskey hit my shirt. 

It smells like hand sanitizer gone wrong

It feels like rubbing alcohol. 

But we love it anyways.

You help me clean it off before her parents catch us,

while you'll whine about some stupid boy.

Even though you won't remember his name in six months. 

We leave the swinging ride,

as we try to find a bathroom to clean the throw up off you.

"Thank god its only water," 

I attempt to make you feel less awkward,

because I care about you.

My cheek stings.

My arm burns.

You're my first choice of contact,

and you aren't as comforting as I thought you'd be .

You've never been cautious about feelings, 

but this is odd for some reason.

Don't you care about me?

I scream,

and clutch your arm.

You laugh,

 and push me towards the man dressed like a zombie.

We giggle

as I blow faux fog out of my nose.

Life couldn't be anymore amazing.

I vomit.

And vomit.

And vomit. 

I continue to read 

the texts you sent.

The words you most

definitely meant.

"At least I don't cut myself because I cant handle my emotions."

I cared about you.