lavender curses

nothing is scarier

I allow my ankles to dangle from my bed as they bleed.

While my toes lightly graze the ground.

It's cold, the floor,

But the flow of my blood is warm

The sting of the cut it hot,

And my mind is freezing.

The contrast is beautiful.

And painful.

Do you know what's more painful?

Punching the wall,

And screaming,

For reasons you're unaware,

while the girl you love

watches you be mortified because you're terrified of yourself.

Nothing is scarier than

Me.

Me and my pain.

Me and my stupidity.

Me and my new found violence.

All of me.